Mr. President, it’s time to get the hell out of Dodge!

We have been in Iraq for more than five years. More than four thousand of our sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters have died for that cause. More than a trillion dollars of our national treasure – most of it borrowed – have been spent there that could have been better spent elsewhere or not spent at all.

And for what?

For weapons of mass destruction? There weren’t any! You took us to war based on information that was at best dubious and not even considered reliable by most of our own intelligence agencies. At worst, you and other high-ranking government officers criminally misrepresented the situation for personal aggrandizement or political gain.

For al Queda? They weren’t in Iraq before we wrecked Saddam Hussein’s private fiefdom. Iraq had no part in the events of 9/11 – all but one or two of the 9/ll hijackers were Saudi Arabian nationals. The House of Saud generously funds radical Salifist madrassas around the world, spreading the same cultural and religious intolerance that Osama bin Laden acted out more than six years ago, and you and your administration look the other way and ignore the elephant defecating in the living room.

To defeat terrorism in general? If you are really interested in destroying terrorists, why have you neglected the war in Afghanistan? Osama bin Laden, the animating spirit of 9/11, apparently still moves at will in the lawless regions of the border with Pakistan. If you needed to “surge” troops anywhere, why not there? You should have pursued him with the same attitude of Teddy Roosevelt toward injury to Americans by bandits: Perikardis alive or Razouli dead!

For democracy? A democratic system is no like a candy-gram that you can order up and have delivered to a friend; it’s a process, and our own – still in development – has been working for centuries. What business of it was yours to try and impose our system on a tribal culture ill-suited to appreciate it? Why did you think it necessary, in the words of another president spoken some 180 years ago, to go abroad looking for monsters to slay?

For revenge? Did you think the planned assassination on your father – a plot already disrupted by your predecessor in office – required you to take the nation to war? If you wanted to revenge your father, then you should have challenged Saddam Hussein personally and then called his ass out onto the field of honor – not send tens of thousands of American soldiers to destroy a country. Are you like Louis XIV, who threatened war with Spain because of a diplomatic brawl in England over precedence at the reception of the new Swedish ambassador?

For a “splendid little war”? Did you want a military success in the Middle East like your father had? Did you, like Mussolini, need a few thousand dead so you could look like a “player”?

Mr. President, you have run out of time, run out of excuses and you have exhausted the patience and the treasury of the nation. Our friends and allies are embarrassed and angry over your ill-considered if not downright lawless conduct. Even the Iraqis who are appreciative of what we did for them are angry at our failure to set goals for leaving their country. We have serious problems here at home that require attention.

You have no time and no capacity left to leave much of a legacy other than that of the president who has perhaps done the most to injure this country and its reputation.

In God’s name, sir, get the hell out of Dodge!

Most sincerely,

T. J. Flapsaddle