If you’re gonna get screwed by a politician, at least enjoy it

081406marycary.jpgPorn star Mary Carey is running for the California governor again with the slogan: Finally, a politician you really want to get screwed by. We’ve never screwed a porn star so we can’t speak to whether or not sex with one is better than getting nailed by a politician but given what’s been happening to America at the hands of politicians in Washington and our own statehouse in Virginia, we’d bet a little sack time with Carey would beat the hell out of a little bungholing at the hands of a Republican or Democratic poll.

Carey’s political ambitions first surfaced in the California recall election that gave us the Terminator as guv. She finished 10th out of 135, which ain’t too bad, and given the record of The Arnold in office, some Californians may now wonder if they might not have been better off with a pro when it comes to screwing people.

Carey has also appeared at The President’s Dinner, an annual affair for Republican fatcats.

According to her website:

Mary Carey, born on June 15, 1980, is an American erotic actress. Her stage name comes from her remarkable facial resemblance to the musician Mariah Carey.

Mary Carey was born in Cleveland, Ohio and moved to Florida when she was seven, and studied ballet and dance until she was 19 years old. She graduated in 1998 from the Pine Crest School, a Fort Lauderdale private preparatory school (alma mater of Kelsey Grammer and Wayne Huizenga). At 19, she decided to try to join her college dance team. After being part of the college dance team for a year, she tried stripping.

She loved being naked so much that she began thinking about becoming a featured adult entertainer. Shortly thereafter, she became an established erotic actress. She has been in numerous adult magazines, adult TV shows, adult internet sites, and adult movies. Her years of ballet have paid off: Not only can she perform well with stage presence and flexibility, but she can dance. She also claims to have never received breast implants and openly discourages their use.

During the 2003 California recall, she was an independent candidate, placing tenth in a field of 135 candidates. She ran on a ten (later expanded to eleven) point platform, promising to:

  1. Legalize same-sex marriage
  2. Tax breast implants
  3. Make lap-dances tax deductible
  4. Wire the California Governor’s Mansion with live web-cams
  5. Create a "Porn for Pistols" program to reduce the number of handguns
  6. Be a goodwill ambassador to attract business to the state
  7. Make those drawing unemployment insurance do jury duty for their pay
  8. Fight the attacks on the porn industry by John Ashcroft and the U.S. Department of Justice
  9. Allow bars to stay open until 4:00 A.M.
  10. Address the AIDS epidemic

For this election, she’s modified her platform:


  • Increase money in California
  • Lower deficit
  • Bring NFL teams to LA
  • Increase plastic surgery tax so that you can lower gas prices.
  • flex-fuel vehicles mandatory in 4-5 years
  • Bring money back to the teachers
  • Legalize gay marriages
  • Help fire fighters and police men
  • Flood control in sacramento/northern california
  • Help the over crowded and mis-managed prision system
  • Make strip clubs full nude with full alchol
  • Make service industry (bars, clubs, etc) open until 5am
  • Support Adult Industry since it brings in billions
  • Porn for pistols
  • Unemployed serve jury duty

Hell, we’d vote for her.