IF I WERE PRESIDENT

If I were President, I’d start my term off right by cutting out a few expenses:

1. Fire the Secret Service and replace them with Rent-a-Cops from Macon, Georgia.
2. Fire half the house and half the senate and make the other half take a major pay cut.
3. Sell off the Presidential motorcade and replace it with a one 1976 AMC Gremlin with bald tires, a broken headlight, and glass tinted so dark you couldn’t see who’s in the car and one plain-clothes motorcycle cop riding the loudest Harley-Davidson available.
4. Empty out the Pentagon, send the entire staff packing, and rent it out for weddings and parties at $1,500,000.00 a day.
5. Vacate the Whitehouse, turn it into a museum, and move to family housing at the nearest military base.
6. Eliminate 90% of tax-payer supported goodies from the federal budget.
7. Limit use of Airforce 1 & 2 and Marine 1 & 2 to urgent business only and just use econo-class flights.
8. Eliminate no-bid contracts and just make the CEO’s fight it out amongst themselves wearing Sumo-Wrestler outfits.
9.Make what’s left of the house and the senate spend at least five days out of each month of their term doing volunteer work for the Red Cross.
10.Once a week, during the Summer months, make the house and the senate host a charity carwash in front of the Whitehouse and donate the proceeds to the homeless shelter.
11. STOP SENDING MONEY TO FOREIGN COUNTRIES WHO WILL NEVER PAY US BACK.

I’ll stop there because I don’t want my readers falling asleep trying to finish this!