Is Washington burning?

The mysterious fire in the Old Executive Office Building on the White House grounds sent conspiracy theorists into overdrive Thursday. What, they wondered, went up in smoke in Vice President Dick Cheney’s suite of offices in the OEOB?

Hey, we love a good conspiracy theory here at Capitol Hill Blue and we learned long ago that anything is possible from the Bush boys and girls at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so we’re happy to join in the latest guessing game of what did they know and when did they burn it?

Since the fire erupted in Cheney’s offices, speculation deepens. Cheney is, after all, the Darth Vader of BushCo, the Black Knight most often accused of being behind all the nefarious actions of what many consider to be the most corrupt Presidential administration in American history.

So what did the fire reduce to ashes just as federal judges, Congress and even Bush’s own Attorney General launches probes into the various high crimes and misdemeanors ?

If evidence was destroyed, the most obvious would be any memos relating to that meeting of White House lawyers, Cheney and God-knows-who-else to discuss what to do about those pesky CIA tapes that showed torture of detainees.

Or maybe, as some have speculated, those White House visitor logs that show just which holy rollers came to Chateau Bush to help the Prez commune with God and seek new justifications for killing people in Iraq.

But this could be just the tip of the ash pile: So much wrongdoing, so little opportunity to burn.

Our own favorite list of what went into the fire:

  • Results of Bush’s latest urine test. What did the President snort and when did he snort it? Or maybe he just went back to drinking. If he wasn’t drunk or stoned, some of his actions of late give sobriety a bad name;
  • Vice President Cheney’s bar tab from that day on the ranch in Texas when he shot his lawyer friend in the face. Dick says he wasn’t drunk but Dick has been known to lie;
  • Those pictures of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid locked in a “69″ at a cheap motel on U.S. 1 south of Washington. Bush got what he wants from Congress this year. Maybe he doesn’t need them any more;
  • Plans for the invasion of Iran. Now that the nuke program is shut down over there the White House has to come up with a new set of lies to justify another war;
  • Photos of First Daughter Barbie Bush dancing topless at that frat party in college. Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt offered a million bucks for them but they never turned up in print. Maybe Bush paid more;
  • Plans to remain in power in 2009 by declaring a national emergency, declaring martial law and suspending habeas corpus. Lincoln did it and he was a Republican too;
  • Secret Service photos of Cheney and Idaho Senator Larry Craig together in that men’s room staff at the Minneapolis Airport;
  • Photos of Ann Coulter giving Bush a lap dance in the Oval Office. Nah, not even Bush is that desperate.

23 Responses to "Is Washington burning?"

  1. f8b8r  December 20, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    He was burning the directions to his undisclosed location, to ensure himself a safe refuge from angry mobs once out of the White House.

    Note to Dick:
    The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven. John Milton

  2. ekaton  December 20, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Be kind to Dick Cheney. He has a bad heart. If he gets wind of some of these comments he may become so upset he dies of a heart attack. So lighten up. He is, after all, our Vice President, the most powerful man in the world.

    – Kent Shaw

  3. The Rev  December 20, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    If I remember correctly, the list of White House visitors wasn’t the only list that the public is now supposedly able to see. I believe that the other list that the judge ruled on was the list of visitors to Cheney’s residence.

    Hmmmmmm.

  4. SEAL  December 20, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM -

    is what would have happened 20 years ago on all networks and they would have been breaking every traffic law in town to be the first with live on the scene coverage.

    There would have been at least two hours of at the time coverage complete with “expert” interviews.

    The fire would have been the lead story at 6 & 11:00 and at least two great smoking pictures would capture the readers of every newspaper in the country with the caption:

    WHITE HOUSE ON FIRE
    President and VP safe

    The Sunday Pol Talk shows would have been filled with questions and theories and information about the on going investigations. It would have been good for two weeks worth of news.

    But that’s when there WAS a news media.

  5. DejaVuAllOver  December 20, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    I’m a musician, and your latest column is like one of those rare moments when you’re playing and something else seems to take over. I like your rants in general, Doug, but I’m thinking of printing this one and keeping it in my piano case for quick inspiration!

  6. neondesert  December 20, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    Need to be more careful with that light saber when you’re paring down the Bill of Rights, Darth. Good thing it wasn’t still the same size as when you guys took office, or who knows how many more buildings it could have ignited.

  7. LurkingFromTheLeft  December 20, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    WINNER WINNER WINNER…

    ….all the possibilities have all been so freakin’ good BUT this one takes the cake in my book!

    …this group is just so clever –

    …guess that is why Dumbass and His Handlers steal from our collective think tank! -

    LFTL

  8. RSW  December 20, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    On a more serious note, though, I AM wondering what sort of “Look, Elvis” we have with this situation.

    Oldernwiser

  9. SEAL  December 20, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    I found this to be very interesting:
    ——————————–
    NEW YORK – A 710-year-old copy of the declaration of human rights known as the Magna Carta — the version that became part of English law — was auctioned Tuesday for $21.3 million, a Sotheby’s spokeswoman said.

    The document, which had been expected to draw bids of $30 million or higher, was bought by David Rubenstein of The Carlyle Group, a private equity firm.
    ———————————

    This version of the document is considered the birth certificate of human rights in the world and greatly influenced our own Constitution and Bill Of Rights. What I find so interesting is who bought it. The Carlyle Group – The Bush family’s outfit. Considering their record of doing away with human rights, what the hell do they want with it? Do they want to own all of the people’s rights, even if they have to pay Millions for them?

    Another interesting fact about this is that it was owned By Ross Perot (yeah, that Perot) who paid 1.8 million for it many many years ago from a British family. [Considering inflation, he probably didn't make a profit.] All these years it has been in the same display with the US Constitution in Washington DC.

    Maybe it’s just me but I find this very weird.

  10. CheckerboardStrangler  December 20, 2007 at 11:50 pm

    OH MY GAWD!ROFLMAO
    Doug, you’re my hero.

  11. bryan mcclellan  December 21, 2007 at 4:47 am

    Looks more like ,(IN YOUR FACE AMERICA), than weird to me Seal.

  12. LurkingFromTheLeft  December 21, 2007 at 7:52 am

    Glad to see…

    …I wasn’t the only one that shuddered when I heard of the sale to THEM -

    LFTL

  13. Warren  December 21, 2007 at 9:33 pm

    C’mon, it’s obvious. It’s all the records of Britney Spears’ visits to Dick’s office, along with the 6-foot stack of resulting sex tapes. Also any and all love notes from Britney that would tie Dick to the real paternity of her child.

  14. Jenifer D.  December 20, 2007 at 7:28 am

    Maybe Dick and his buddies drank a little too much hooch and decided to try making S’Mores and the fire got out of hand!

  15. Janice  December 20, 2007 at 8:05 am

    “If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

    The coincidence of a fire starting in Cheney’s office suite is too much to be ignored – but it could be just a fluke – a trick of fate, or a chance accident. Yeah, right – and if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.

  16. Sandra Price  December 20, 2007 at 8:06 am

    What a Rant!!!I love it. Had the administration not been so closed in their actions, many of us would never locate a single conspiracy thought but when the air in the White House starts to stink, one must check the sewer.

    It is a mistake to allow this Administration to stay another year, and I believe their final stroke for our end of days is waiting in the wings. Bush will have the final strike and we will sit there and take it.

  17. LurkingFromTheLeft  December 20, 2007 at 8:09 am

    Perhaps it is

    …a RED (state) herring -

    …might have been a pet goat roast? -

    …so many possibilities given the idea that these so called ‘leaders’ feel they have some of divine guidance to do whatever the phuck they want -

    …there is no limit to the level of evil they’ll claim is their RIGHT -

    LFTL

  18. Kim Scipes  December 20, 2007 at 10:24 am

    Priceless!

    Last night, I was reading Danny Schechter’s daily blog on the Media–available from Dissector@mediachannel.org –a worthwhile read almost always, and came upon this:

    “And then yesterday, a fire erupted near Dick Cheney’s office at the White House “compound.” I wonder if any revealing documents went up in smoke. (After I wrote this I was sent this link. Check it out.)” The link was to http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/12/19/144638/87/724/424384 .

    The person who put this list together was simply on the ball–while other Capitol Hill Blue readers have made some small steps toward this, this person goes all the way.

    (Don’t ignore it because it appeared on Daily Kos–unless you’re a Bushie fan, you’ll find it well worth a look!)

    Enjoy!

    Kim Scipes

  19. Pablo  December 20, 2007 at 10:38 am

    What’s even more fishy…

    I checked the internet sites of CNN and Fox and not even a mention of the fire. My friend watched the mainstream news last night and saw nothing regarding this. My god, a fire in the office of the vice president of the U.S. and it has been totally ignored by General Electric, errhh ummm the mainstream press. Now tell me that ain’t extremely fishy. If it doesn’t smell fishy, it at least smells like a duck!

  20. Charlie Couser  December 20, 2007 at 11:32 am

    I have heard several rumors that Cheney’s wife smokes after sex. We now have proof positive!

    Charlie Couser

  21. RSW  December 20, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Yea, but was she with Dick? (Ooops!!! Sorry!!!)

    Oldernwiser

  22. Pablo  December 20, 2007 at 11:59 am

    I found an article

    regarding the fire hidden on page 10a of my local paper today. The most powerful man in the world’s office has burned and the news gets pushed back to page 10a, hmm. A friend notified me that CNN did report it yesterday, but it was quickly taken off their front page. Now if I was the typical warmonger-hillary-voting american lacking critical thinking skills I wouldn’t have even noticed. Good thing for them that most are either asleep or pathetically apathetic. They’ll get away with this one too, you know, the incriminating documents they won’t be able to produce because they got burned in the fire.

  23. Elmo  December 20, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    The Veep was regenerating and his alcove short-circuited.

Comments are closed.