The mysterious fire in the Old Executive Office Building on the White House grounds sent conspiracy theorists into overdrive Thursday. What, they wondered, went up in smoke in Vice President Dick Cheney’s suite of offices in the OEOB?
Hey, we love a good conspiracy theory here at Capitol Hill Blue and we learned long ago that anything is possible from the Bush boys and girls at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so we’re happy to join in the latest guessing game of what did they know and when did they burn it?
Since the fire erupted in Cheney’s offices, speculation deepens. Cheney is, after all, the Darth Vader of BushCo, the Black Knight most often accused of being behind all the nefarious actions of what many consider to be the most corrupt Presidential administration in American history.
So what did the fire reduce to ashes just as federal judges, Congress and even Bush’s own Attorney General launches probes into the various high crimes and misdemeanors ?
If evidence was destroyed, the most obvious would be any memos relating to that meeting of White House lawyers, Cheney and God-knows-who-else to discuss what to do about those pesky CIA tapes that showed torture of detainees.
Or maybe, as some have speculated, those White House visitor logs that show just which holy rollers came to Chateau Bush to help the Prez commune with God and seek new justifications for killing people in Iraq.
But this could be just the tip of the ash pile: So much wrongdoing, so little opportunity to burn.
Our own favorite list of what went into the fire:
- Results of Bush’s latest urine test. What did the President snort and when did he snort it? Or maybe he just went back to drinking. If he wasn’t drunk or stoned, some of his actions of late give sobriety a bad name;
- Vice President Cheney’s bar tab from that day on the ranch in Texas when he shot his lawyer friend in the face. Dick says he wasn’t drunk but Dick has been known to lie;
- Those pictures of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid locked in a “69″ at a cheap motel on U.S. 1 south of Washington. Bush got what he wants from Congress this year. Maybe he doesn’t need them any more;
- Plans for the invasion of Iran. Now that the nuke program is shut down over there the White House has to come up with a new set of lies to justify another war;
- Photos of First Daughter Barbie Bush dancing topless at that frat party in college. Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt offered a million bucks for them but they never turned up in print. Maybe Bush paid more;
- Plans to remain in power in 2009 by declaring a national emergency, declaring martial law and suspending habeas corpus. Lincoln did it and he was a Republican too;
- Secret Service photos of Cheney and Idaho Senator Larry Craig together in that men’s room staff at the Minneapolis Airport;
- Photos of Ann Coulter giving Bush a lap dance in the Oval Office. Nah, not even Bush is that desperate.