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Turds always rise to the surface

December 14, 2007

It’s no surprise Mike Huckabee is the latest serious contender for the Republican presidential nomination. Turds always rise to the top of a sewer and the GOP has been a political cesspool for far too long.

As expected, the rabid right wing that dominates the Republican Party considers Huckabee their boy – a hardcore conservative who thinks abortion is murder, homosexuality is a sin and anyone who disagrees with self-righteous GOP rhetoric is a godless heathen who hates America.

Huckabee is the perfect Presidential candidate for the gaggle of dinosaurs called the Grand Old Party.

Unfortunately, I know Republicans all too well: I worked within the GOP for too many years as a Capitol Hill staffer, campaign operative and political consultant.

For too long, I took my money and looked the other way but I can never escape the shame of being a part of the GOP political system.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle are, for the most part, self-serving hacks with no regard for the Constitution they swear to uphold but Republicans are especially venal: Twisting religion, law and morality to fit their perverted view of the world.

They preach family values but Republicans rank among the top skirt chasers on the Hill. Former GOP Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich started an affair while one wife lay in a hospital bed. Then he began an affair with a House committee staffer while married to his second wife. Even grandfatherly Henry Hyde, who presided over the impeachment of President Bill Clinton, screwed around.

Republicans publicly decry homosexuality during the day and cruise the gay bars at night. Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho, the gay-bashing right-winger who tried to pick up an undercover cop in an airport men’s room, is just the latest. The list of closet gay Republicans is almost as long as a compilation of lies by George W. Bush.

All politics is a cesspool filled with creatures from the Black Lagoon but the sewer where Republicans swim and frolic is exceptionally putrid because of the phony, self-righteous front the GOP hypocrites put before the public while enjoying uncontrolled debauchery back in their own toxic landfill.

Many pundits believe George W. Bush will go down as the worst President in American history – unless a Republican like Mike Huckabee becomes President.

Sewers run dark and deep. There’s always another turd fighting to surface.

32 Responses to Turds always rise to the surface

  1. AustinRanter

    December 14, 2007 at 6:03 pm

    Hip Hip Horray….

    Seal…I think you’re on to something.

    A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage!

  2. Sandra Price

    December 14, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    I’ve never understood why Christians want so much legislation unless it is simply to divide everyone in several categories. The truth is that these people are mean about their desire to label us all with insulting names.

    The minute Bush was inaugurated, the whole system changed. His cabinet and white house filled up with men and women who claimed to be dedicated Christians. The religious right were in hog heaven. What appeared was a level of incompetence that was shocking. The threats to gays and women were constant.

    I warned about putting him in the White House and I backed my warnings with statements that were not even bad enough to cover what this awful man has done.

    I grew up in a Christian home and was told over and over that Jesus would always be my friend and protect me. What happened to that Jesus?

    I did not stay a Christian when I saw the complete hypocrisy in the Birch Society and the hateful letters to the Editor to many of our local newpapers. Of course I read Elmer Gantry and found many of his traits in many of our local churches. What got to me was the anger and cruelty I found on the internet. The Christians declared a war on Americans and we are still fighting it here and now.

    Those Conservative Sites are still angry and overly protective of Bush’s actions. There is nothing that Bush can do wrong when they are told he is fighting and killing Islamic terrorists. These conservatives are fighting any alternative energy plans and want to take over the oil in the middle east and kill off anyone who stands in their way.

    They will destroy any Democratic candidate and the latest attack is to write that Obama is a sissy boy.

    Their end game is to prohibit abortions, gay marriages and anything that they can get into the federal laws. I doubt most of you could even imagine the hypocrisy found on these sites. I will not give out the addresses of these sites as many are involved in Reader Rant and I will never cross over sites with insults.

    2008 will be a disaster for America if men like Romney, Huckabee, Tancredo or any one of them who does not believe in evolution gets 4 years in the White House.

    SEAL, I made a commitment to vote for Paul in our primary and I most certainly will vote for Obama if he is the candidate. I no longer pay any allegiance to any party as both have merged into the septic tank Doug wrote about.

  3. NotoriousJP

    December 14, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    OK, then. That is enough. But the question now who is worse: Romney, Giuliani or Huckabee.

    Being a New Yorker, I know Giuliani better than the others. He acted like he was the warden of New York, not the mayor. He scares me the most. Ron Paul is my choice. The rest are……turds with maggots in them.

  4. pondering_it_all

    December 14, 2007 at 11:15 pm

    I’m certainly no Huckabee fan, not even a Republican OR a Christian! But still, I don’t think it is fair to judge a candidate on his statements of 15 years ago. If you want to go so far as calling somebody a turd, then you need to list his current positions, recent position changes, and recent actions.

    Does he have political positions that we would not expect of a religious conservative GOP candidate? Has he changed those positions recently to pander to the Christian Conservatives to win the primamry? (And thus likely to flop back for the general election, if he wins the nomination?) Did he do something particularly outrageous as Governer?

    In particular, since he is an ordained minister, has he done anything blatantly hypocritical like Senator Craig?

    (I do know that he got caught up in an anti-Clinton group’s efforts to free a prisoner, who later went on to commit some particulary heinous crimes. But that just makes him gullible, not fecal!)

  5. SEAL

    December 14, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    Personally, I find all this commentary over the use of the word “turd” to be rather silly. Frankly, I consider every damn one of the repugnant candidates a piece of shit of some sort. Possibly Ron Paul excepted. But I don’t like him for a president either.

    The only man I ever came out in support of was John Kennedy. I also supported Bobby. But they only served as the lesson that you cannot challenge the real power in this nation, alone. The only way to get them out of power is a full blown revolution by the masses. That doesn’t seem likely. They have always known how to leave the masses just enough illusion and comfort to keep them paying into the slush fund.

    There is one point that needs to be made about all the front runners in this election. Obama has not taken one penny of contribution from any of the corporate structure. He has refused all their offers. That impresses me.

  6. stevepink

    December 15, 2007 at 12:43 am


    He evidently raised alot of money from employees
    of big wall street firms.

  7. Paolo

    December 15, 2007 at 1:01 am

    As a libertarian, I can’t fathom why you conservatives and former Republicans who are so disappointed in the candidates we have, can’t support Ron Paul.

    The most frequent criticism of Paul I hear is “he’s loony.”

    Really? Precisely which stands that Ron Paul takes are “loony?” The stand against pointless wars on the far side of the globe?

    The stand against the illegal and unconstitutional Federal Reserve System, which enriches private bankers at the expense of the rest of us?

    The call for eliminating the Income Tax, which is an intrusive, privacy-destroying, Nazi-like relic of the early (fascist) 20th century?

    Pray tell–in what exact way are Ron Paul’s stands on the issues “loony?”

    I’ll show you “loony”: the foreign policy stands of every Republican and Democratic presidential candidate with the exception of Ron Paul (and perhaps Dennis Kucinich).

    Loony: the belief you can run up obscene government spending, year after year, and not eventually have to pay the price.

    Loony: the belief that a government agency can take control of medicine and produce inexpensive, quality care.

    And so forth….

  8. SEAL

    December 15, 2007 at 8:21 am


    He evidently raised alot of money from employees
    of big wall street firms.

    As did all the other candidates, stevepink. So what is your point? There is no appearance that any of the wall street companies pressured their employees to contribute to any special candidate. All the employees were divided in their support. Just because these were wall street employees has no special signifigance. Farmers and construction workers donated to different candidates, too.

    The fact remains that Obama has refused to take any corporate donations and has actually returned some. The man has been true to his word. I am not campaigning for Obama but so far, he has conducted himself more like presidential material that any other I have seen. Perhaps you could say he is the best of a sorry lot. He is, also, the least known.

    My primary concern is defeating Clinton and the fact is that Obama has the best chance of doing that. In my opinion Edwards is nothing but a glory hound who wants to be president.

  9. Foghamar

    December 15, 2007 at 11:22 am

    I can’t find anyone other than Ron Paul for whom I am willing to vote. There are stands he takes that concern me, but they concern me less than the overall stances of other major party candidates. They’re all “glory hounds” who want to be president or at least to massage their massive egos – with the possible exception of Dr. Paul.

    The composition of the SCOTUS concerns me deeply. There is likely to be at least one vacancy during the next presidential term. I can’t imagine having a court even more strongly stacked towards the right. It would be like watching the Taney Court come back to life ala Dred Scott.

    My vote won’t got to any Republican with the exception of Paul. The Democrats are beyond the pale. I am beginning to understand why so many people don’t bother to vote at all.

    We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls. ~ Churchill

  10. ekaton

    December 15, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    What this country needs is a good 5 cent cigar!

    ($5 accounting for inflation)

    — Kent Shaw

  11. ekaton

    December 15, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    My fantasy: Paul wins his party nomination, Kucinich does not, and Paul chooses Kucinich as a running mate OR Paul loses, Kucinich wins and chooses Paul as VP.

    Never in a billion years. Political parties are anathema to a truly democratic republic.

    — Kent Shaw

  12. ekaton

    December 15, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    Please God, if you exist, spare us from the globalist militarist Hillary Clinton.

    — Kent Shaw

  13. mary cali

    December 15, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    The more I see of the way we choose a president, the more I favor a parlimentarian form of government like Britian, Canada or just about any system other than ours. Candidates campaign for years, spending billions and we get the poor choices we have. The most experienced candidates are at the bottom, McCain, Dodd, Biden, and Richardson. The country is in such a mess, we do not need novices.

    I have been voting since Kennedy/Nixon and there were only two in that period of time that I could truly support. Something is wrong with the system when Oprah and a candidate’s faith become the dominant features of campaigns. Obama may be as wonderful as Oprah claims, but where is the beef, the experience, knowledge needed for today’s realities. Forget the Republicans. There is no way I can vote GOP for the foreseeable future.

  14. Paolo

    December 15, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    The original Constitutional system was actually far superior to the current system. Back then, the Electoral College actually meant something.

    Originally, there were no direct elections for president at all! This is because the Founders, wisely, wanted to avoid having leaders chosen on the basis of popular delusions, like Bush’s supposed “straight talking Texas honesty” (puke), or Huckabee’s “folksy good humor.” No, they wanted the President chosen on the basis of his character and his intellectual viewpoint.

    The original Electoral College was to be appointed by the State Legislatures, in whatsoever manner they pleased, so long as the electors did not hold any federal government office. Thus, the legislature would scour the local communities for fine, upstanding citizens, and entrust them with the job of selecting the president.

    There was no “winner take all” situation. Thus, a third of New York’s (for example) electors could vote for candidate A, another third for candidate B, and another third for candidate C.

    Only late in the 19th century did states give up their power to appoint electors, turning the whole thing over to the popular vote, which was what the Founders expressly did NOT want to happen. At this point, we moved to the “winner take all” electoral system.

    Furthermore, the person with the SECOND MOST electoral votes became the Vice President. This was changed, if my memory serves me, by the eleventh Amendment. Had this not been passed, the Vice President would have served (as the Founders intended) as an important COUNTERBALANCE to the President, in his role as President of the Senate. Thus, the President and Vice President were rivals, rather than team-mates.

    Imagine how much better things would have been if, for example, Bush had become President in 2000, but Gore became Vice President (rather than Cheney). Heck, we might have seen impeachment by now under the direction of the Vice President!

  15. Sandra Price

    December 16, 2007 at 7:46 am

    Mike Huckabee is just another Christian liar. He no more has a degree in religion than I do.


  16. keith

    December 16, 2007 at 9:47 am

    Mary, you are absolutely correct. It’s oft been said that we reap what we sow. And our totally corrupt electoral system is proof of that fact.

    The American political system generates and then throws millions upon millions of dollars in “campaign donations” at these clowns. And then we wonder why they are all corrupt.

    I live in New Hampshire and am continually amazed at how many Presidential “wanabees” we have perpetually wandering through our State, raising money and forming “exploratory committees” to see if there’s enough interest (spelled “money”) for them to actually run in the New Hampshire Primary. This foolishness begins several YEARS before that event ever takes place. Our primary here is now less than a month away, but these clowns have been in “campaign mode”…and running around with their hands out… for well over three years now.

    To me, there’s something inherently wrong with a system that, by default, requires candidates for high office to generate millions upon millions of dollars, either from their own pockets or from seemingly endless fund-raising campaigns, just to get a job that pays far less than the average corporate CEO.

    It also seems like all of our elected officials at the federal and state level are in a perpetual campaign mode even before the day they first take office. And when they are constantly campaigning, is it any wonder that money (and the pursuit of same) becomes their “Job #1”?

    I can’t help but compare and contrast such perpetual campaign foolishness with what our Canadian friends do come election time. There, once the sitting Prime Minister dissolves the Federal Parliament, the actual campaign to elect a new one seldom runs more than a month or so. That is, after a month or so of hard campaigning, the election is held…and then it’s OVER!

    And while there are four major political parties in Canada, by law, candidates from ALL minimally qualifying political parties must be listed on the ballot for each seat in Parliament. Noticeably absent is the two-party, totally corrupt “duopoly” of colluding “Republicrats” deciding who can (or can’t) be included on a ballot besides themselves.

    What’s more, the elections are ALL federally funded and coordinated. So, once a political party selects their candidate to run for a seat in a particular district (they are called “ridings”) qualifying candidates who also meet a certain minimum popularity threshold (based on results from a previous election) get a specified pot of money from the government to campaign with. And, once that pot of funds is gone, it’s gone. Period.

    Needless to say, what’s really nice about this approach is that Canadians aren’t also subjected to watching (or hearing) the same mud-slinging campaign ads over and over (and over again) in media assaults that can last a year or more in contested States or districts in the US. Their phones also don’t ring off the hook with “push polls” and endless “get out the vote” calls come election time.

    Keeping things “short and simple” makes grass-roots campaigns the norm rather than the exception in Canada. And, I believe a similar approach might also help keep a lot of the graft and corruption at all levels in our US Government to a bare minimum as well.

    Sometimes, less really IS more.

  17. Sandra Price

    December 16, 2007 at 10:56 am

    It just was reported that when Huckabee was Governor of Arkansas, his son hung a dog by the neck when he was working at a summer camp. The kids were horrified and his father had the charges dropped. I don’t have a link to this as it came over a news story on television.

    Doug’s term “TURD” certainly applies here.

  18. Paolo

    December 16, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    Sandra–thanks for the link. What an incredible, lying sack of compost! I am ashamed to admit that even I, cynical as I am about politicians, was surprised the Huckster lied even about his “degree.”

  19. anthny

    December 14, 2007 at 8:56 am

    Another good Rant Doug, seems to be a continuation of yesterdays Rant.
    This comment should cover both Rants.
    Whatever happened to that faux journalist Jeff Gannon?
    He could be a good source to get to the bottom of this pile of turds……………
    We the people are very frustrated with the Bush regime and his form of Fascism.

  20. Sandra Price

    December 14, 2007 at 10:12 am

    Family Values! What a load of crap! This movement is nothing but a call for a Theocracy! I’ve warned about this for years and have been called a liar all over the internet. The problem is that Americans need religious leadership and are too damn lazy to attend church. They have had a reputation for being non-voters for years and are too lazy to get into the rules of politics.

    Now that the Separation of Church and State is gone (thanks to faith based grants) we have seen the rise of illegal actions trying to get into our platforms.

    I wake up every morning contemplating my decision of whether I want to vote for Socialism or a religious police state. My only action is to vote for Paul in the Primary and Obama in the final.

    I’ve been in a state of depression over what has become of America. My greatest fear is that the American people will storm the White House and that will trigger the militia.

    If Romney or Huckabee should win, I will never again vote as it shows me the insanity of the voters. I will never send another contribution to any candidate and will need some deep hypnosis to look for my sanity.

    This election may be our last chance at freedom.

  21. Jenifer D.

    December 14, 2007 at 10:48 am

    The Electoral College System

    Is really to blame for all this ‘voter insanity’. Who’s to say the electoral college isn’t the source of the good guys losing? I say the E/C needs to be shut down because I’ve thought for years that it is nothing, but, a big, fat scam. As for family values, I think that went out the window when the 70’s ended.

    As for who gets my vote next year, I don’t consider any of these so-called ‘hopefuls’ worthy of the office of president. The fact that Oprah jumped on Obama’s bandwagon, which I view as a stab at shameless self-promotion, is going to have some serious consequnces for Obama as Oprah is a talk-show host and not an experienced political activist.

    This is going to be hilarious!

  22. larktim

    December 14, 2007 at 10:23 am


    It’s because of your years of working with
    Republican in Washington that I have such
    respect for your opinion. Unfortunately
    I don’t see any Democrat worth a shit either.


  23. NotoriousJP

    December 14, 2007 at 11:51 am


    If you are going to call a man a turd and say he would be worse than Bush then you should list the reasons why he is such a turd, in your opinion. I don’t have an opinion about Huckabee one way or the other, but calling a person names and not stating facts to support your opinion falls far below any standards of good writing. Let’s hear it. Out with it.

  24. Doug Thompson

    December 14, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Thought I did that in the second paragraph:

    As expected, the rabid right wing that dominates the Republican Party considers Huckabee their boy – a hardcore conservative who thinks abortion is murder, homosexuality is a sin and anyone who disagrees with self-righteous GOP rhetoric is a godless heathen who hates America.

    Need more?

  25. NotoriousJP

    December 14, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    That is a good start, but how can he be any more incompetent than Bush? Bush had everything handed to him in life and managed to screw everything up. I doubt Bush got to Yale on his academic merits. He failed as a officer-( a commission he did not earn.) a pilot, a businessman, a governor and a president. Can Huckabee be that bad? I doubt it. And his beliefs don’t make him a turd, his actions do. Like it or not, he shares a lot of his beliefs with other Americans. Not that I would vote for him. I like Ron Paul, the only decent person running. So what turd-like things did Huckabees do?

  26. Doug Thompson

    December 14, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    From Thursday’s CHB (in a column by Bonnie Erbe):

    The latest Huckabee story is linked all over the Internet to its original sin (or should I say, original signpost on the Baptist Press Web site). It goes as follows. In 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full-page ad in USA Today extolling the virtues of the Bible’s teachings on marriage—or what some Southern Baptists call the Bible’s teachings. We all know religious extremists, as all extremists, skew their interpretations as markedly as politicians spin theirs.

    The ad told Southern Baptists, “You are right” about a number of such biblical teachings:

    “You are right because you called husbands to sacrificially love and lead their wives.

    “You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband’s sacrificial leadership.

    “You are right because you affirmed that the husband and wife are of equal worth before God.”

    It should have said, “You are Right, but you are wrong” (to wit, you are on the political Right, but the moral wrong). Husbands who believe they sacrificially “love and lead” their wives clearly do not view their wives as partners in life but as servants. Wives who “graciously submit” to their husbands are most often not submitting graciously, but because they have neither the economic wherewithal nor the education to be economically self-sufficient. And even if they are “gracious” at first, they rarely stay that way for long.

    It gets even worse the deeper one digs into Huckabee’s dark political past. The Associated Press re-released 229 answers Huckabee “offered as a 36-year-old Texarkana pastor during his first run for political office in 1992. In that unsuccessful race against Sen. Dale Bumpers, Huckabee offered himself as a social conservative and listed ‘moral decay’ as one of the top problems facing the country. Over the weekend, he said he wouldn’t retract answers in which he advocated isolating AIDS patients from the general public, opposed increased funding for finding a cure and said homosexuality could be cured though he said today he might he phrase his answers ‘a little differently.’ “

  27. Janice

    December 14, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    As long as we are mucking around in the sewer today, how about giving us
    The list of closet gay Republicans is almost as long as a compilation of lies by George W. Bush
    Name some names – let us know who the real hypocrites are. Don’t stop at the republicans, though, give us the democrats, too. Washington D.C. is the holding tank for the dregs of America – lets put some names to the slime that is slithering around there. Let us know who the real pieces of sh!t are. The MSM isn’t interested in spreading the truth around about the quality of our representatives and hired govenmental officials – I guess it is up to We The People to expose the holier than thou politicians for what they are – leaches.

    If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
    Mark Twain

  28. AustinRanter

    December 14, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    In my opinion, if Huckabee is elected president, the American people might as well have voted for an Islamic radical like bin laden or the like.

    Theocracy is the only agenda Huckabee has. There’s no doubt that he believes that he is the gateway to the salvation of America’s fall from grace.

    TV soap writers couldn’t write a more bizarre script for real life as we have come to know it.

  29. Janice

    December 14, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    Look at the headlines today on CHB. The government is in a meltdown. The canidates are not up to the task of trying to dig this country out of the hole bush has pushed us into. The democrats in Congress can’t be counted on to deal effectively with protecting our country. It makes you wonder what is going to happen.

  30. DVL666

    December 14, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    I though “Huck” was one of the few candidates with a sane policy toward the children of illegals until he accepted the backing of the Minutemen. I’d like to find one candidate who will state ideas and then not pander to the base when they conflict. Romney had a good Health plan but now acts like someone from MARS thought it up. UGH!!!

  31. SEAL

    December 14, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    Let’s all go out and work like hell for Obama and get him elected. If he turns out to be what Oprah says he is, maybe we will all get a new car.

  32. ekaton

    December 15, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    “Oprah is a talk-show host and not an experienced political activist.”

    Imagine a debate between Oprah Winfrey and Mary Matalin. I’d love to be sitting in the front row next to James Carville.

    — Kent Shaw