Happy Birthday Alberto

Another one of Geroge Bush’s squeaky toys is leaving the presidential bathtub. The very lame duck Alberto probably won’t be spending his August 5th 53rd birthday floating in the suds in his patron’s bathtub and being given endearing squeezes by the boss who he squeaked for since the good old boy days in Texas.

Alberto has more in common with Bush than many people realize.

For one example, both took advantage of the military.

Alberto Gonzales enlisted in the United States Air Force in 1973, but after serving for two years at Fort Yukon, Alaska he was accepted as a cadet at the Air Force Academy. Thus he got his first two years of college at government expense.

With his four year term of enlistment over, apparently he was allowed to drop out thus saving him from being required to serve another tour in the Air Force to “pay back” the expense of the college degree. (I hope this is a loophole that has since been plugged.)

He then transferred to Rice University and went on to Harvard for his law degree.

In the IQ department, unlike the boringly above average Bush, Gonzales probably has a fairly high IQ, but with what is often called book smarts as opposed to common sense. Entrance to the Air Force Academy, Rice University, and Harvard Law ard highly competitive and few if any merely above average people manage all three.

Like Bush, Gonzales has always put ambition first and could care less about ethics. Also like Bush, when forced off-script in front of the cameras, he has proved to be dull witted.

Like Bush, any semblance of empathy and concern for others is feigned as our Attorney General’s behavior with the bed ridden John Ashcroft proves.

Like Bush, Gonzales seems to think that the only important civil liberties are those he and his friends can take to assure nobody bothers them. I assume he joins Bush in assuming any citizen who objects to unrestrained spying on Americans is a geriatric former hippie card carrying ACLU commie sympathizer.

Gonzales has about as much respect for the Constitution as Bush, as this comment to Senator Arlen Spector before the Senate Judiciary Committee on January 18, 2007 demonstrates:

The fact that the Constitution—again, there is no express grant of habeas in the Constitution. There is a prohibition against taking it away. But it’s never been the case, and I’m not a Supreme—

Most likely he is as ignorant as Bush about the actual content of the Constitution, although Bush has the excuse of being an MBA and not a lawyer, let alone a former state supreme court justice and current attorney general.

In fact is that the above statement is just plain wrong. Legal features of habeas corpus are laid out in a positive way in the Sixth Amendment.

And lastly, and most important, both George W. Bush and Alberto Gonzales are inept though affable liars whose worldview is so twisted that, along with a few others of their ilk, they have turned this administration into the ultimate political tragicomedy.


  1. JudyB

    …”In the IQ department, unlike the boringly above average Bush”.. Does this mean am I to believe Bush has above average IQ ??? Give me a break! The only smarts this man has is known as “street smarts” He was born into a family dynasty, his father was prominant in politics his entire life. Thus GWB has lived his life getting by with the abundant help of any and all willing to abet his nothingness in return for favors getting them what they wanted and getting him to where he is now and where he’s been (ie: his father for the service with honorable discharge, College entrance & diploma, religious right for his governorship, Big no risk loans because of his name & position as governor,sleazy business practices, and finally the Presidency, due to wealthy NeoCons, and oil barons and crooked corporate leaders etc.) The reality is that his pets have all had higher IQ’s than him!

  2. ekaton

    The reality is that his pets have all had higher IQ’s than him!

    Everything prior to that comment is so true. And he might eventually get a pet dumber than him.

    Well summarized, anyway.

    Kent Shaw

  3. Hal Brown

    Average is 100.

    I didn’t say how much above average.

    Well, to be more precise and less snarky, which when it comes to writing about our squinty-eyed slanty-smiled snake in the grass fearfully fearless leader I find difficult to do, I have to insist for the sake of accuracy that he does have an IQ higher than Barney the dog who got a free ride to Washington, and lower than Arnold, Fred and Doris Ziffle’s kid who actually visited Washington on a scholarship. (click link)

  4. bryan mcclellan

    Arnold Ziffle,darned fine actor in the same vein as Cheeta but a little bit of a Ham..AIQ well over that of smirk and gonzo.Proof of that being ,they never lied before a formal inquiry.

  5. Klaus Hergeschimmer

    Hey Bryan, Arnold Ziffle should run for President!
    If Arnold got in, there would be no more pork barrel

  6. Bill Jonke

    Arnold Ziffle is smarter than Georgie and Gonzo put together. More articulate and a more assertive tone of voice too!

  7. Helen Rainier


    How dare you disparage any self-respecting individual family of the animal kingdom by implying they have less intelligence or practical purpose than the Dubya, Gonzo and Darth?

    Good grief, even dung beetles have very specific purposes in life and do all they can to achieve that mission.

    I simply can’t say for the Dubya, the Gonzo, and the Darth.