The Sex game

It is becoming increasingly clear that all the preaching of “family values” that has provided the votes necessary to send this nation into a Constitutional crisis were just a cover up for the randy behavior of its proponents. Time after time those most vocal about the perils of “loose morals” were themselves diddling strangers and engaging in the very behaviors they were telling others were morally reprehensible. The next time you hear someone telling you how allowing gays to marry each other would threaten your marriage and the very foundations of America, you are probably going to ask yourself “I wonder what he is covering up?”

The preachers of values-they-don’t-practice will try to make it about what went wrong for the individuals caught in their own hypocrisy, but that is yet more bullshit wrapped in religion. It isn’t about them, it is about the rules of the sex game itself.

As a people, we have been goaded, cajoled and misled into an insane web of laws and rules about sexual behavior. Insane because they are contrary to human nature and their real purpose is to manipulate people through fear and guilt.

Let’s face it – sex is necessary, healthy and fun; which explains exactly why there are so many laws to control it. With so much going for it, controlling sex is the easiest way to control people. Mind you I said control people not sex itself, because as we know from the millennia, it is not possible to control sex.

In fact, from the evidence of the very people most intent on limiting sexual behavior of the rest of us, they have no intent on controlling sex. They have shown themselves to be enthusiastic participants in every variety of sexual behavior, from sucking cock in public restrooms to getting spanked by prostitutes. Priests tell their flock the virtues of abstinence while bedding the altar boys. Politicians decry same gender sex while hiring male prostitutes. It is beyond hypocrisy, it is about controlling you and me through fear and intimidation.

America has always had some strange notions about sex from its earliest foundations. Exactly what purpose does the state have in regulating what you and I may want to do with our bodies? Why should either federal or state governments be permitted to say anything at all about what we want to do sexually? I say except for a very few instances, the state has no right to say anything whatsoever.

Except for some reasonable regulation of sex between those over 15 and those under that age, there should be no laws at all about sexual behavior. None.

There are behaviors that involve sex that need regulation – rape, which is really a form of battery and could be left to that category, public behavior that endangers the public health, not merely offends someone, and probably a few other instances which elude me at the moment.

All the rest is not the proper exercise of the force of government. You may have sexual preferences that differ from your neighbor. You may find that most people agree with you. So what? That does not give rise to a reason for you to tell me what I may do. You can trot out all the usual justifications for restrictions on liberty – some behaviors just aren’t good for one’s health, it offends the public, it is against public morals, etc. We have been manipulated into thinking those are valid reasons to limit free behavior, but they are not.

In the larger view, sex laws are really an expression of our lack of faith in each other, a statement that you don’t trust the judgment of another person and feel the need to tell them how to live their life. That is offensive to liberty itself, but when coupled with the propensity of those who make the rules to not follow them it exposes the sex game for the power grab it is.

You may not like the idea of removing the rules of the sex game, but if you take your focus off the sex itself, you will see the farce for its true nature. If you think some sexual act is offensive, don’t engage in it. If you don’t think gays should marry, don’t do it. If you think cousins should not fornicate, avoid doing so. If you come across someone having sex in public, tell them to stop or walk away.

I know there is a fear that this licentiousness would ruin our country, lead to all sorts of horrible excesses and problems beyond imagine, but it won’t. Things will settle down to more or less the way they are in that regard, but millions and millions of people no longer will have to feel embarrassed or sinful for their behavior and would no longer have to lie, steal and cheat about it. It is this negative self-view that is used to manipulate us politically.

Take it away and we remove a key element of the sex game’s goal of giving politicians a way to control us. This control has nothing to do with sex, about which politicians keep proving they really have no scruples at all, but about raw power and the restriction of freedom.


  1. Jeffrey B.

    Sex: fun, healthy and just down right good for ya! – Until the lawmakers – I mean lawBREAKERS get involved. As with everything else – they have been screwing this nation for years – why wouldn’t you think that their names would be in some Madam’s phone book? Excuse me, I need to turn over and light up a Lucky!

  2. Sandra Price

    Another good commentary Phil. I replied in detail at Reader Rant and I agree with you on all your statements.

    When we become parents it is often difficult to teach the facts of life without scaring the hell out of the kids. I was lucky, they were around when we bred horses and dogs. Just watching my Rooster was a sex education all on its own. We were gentle in our discussions about relationships among people. I’m glad we were, and we were not the least upset when a member of the family came out of the closet and it made no difference where or with whom they slept they were our most cherished members of the family.

    Bush bought this control over us from the support of the Christian coalition and their promise of Evangelical votes. It made American politics suddenly dirty.

    This is good stuff, my friend.

  3. SEAL

    What is perverted?

    The sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s expanded horizons. The gay revolution of the 80s and 90s expanded minds. The Internet has opened pathways for self-discovery and communication. Awareness and acceptance of alternative sexual expression is greater today than any other time in our country’s history.

    But, we still find ourselves encased in the Puritan dogma bequeathed to us by our Mayflower ancestors. A moral doctrine they adopted on arbitrary authority and then legislatively asserted with mandates that fly in the face of constitutionally protected freedoms.

    Without regard for individuality or basic human condition, they molded a one size fits all tenet of Law that, in the reality of practice, denies the individual right of privacy and morality [i.e. religion] and serves only to subvert the First, Fourth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

    The authors of the United States Constitution dramatically changed the course of history by creating a nation in America that mandated a separation of church and state. They were determined that the citizens of their new nation could not be subjected to ideological conformity. To insure individual freedom, they added a Bill Of Rights for the sole purpose of preventing a perversion of their unconventional democracy by the tyranny of religious or majority rule.

    If a people truly are to have freedom of expression, they cannot be automatically deemed perverse just because they maintain a view of the structure and conduct of interpersonal and/or sexual relationships contradictory to any religion or refuse to conform to the mainstream’s ideology.

    In order for something to be perverse it must be turned from its intended use, be wrong, or vary from normal. The contention is that “normal” is conforming to the majority view. But, isn’t that view perverse to what is preferred and/or natural to the nature of the non-conformant individual?

    What, in reality, is perverted?

    We all agree that sex is designed for procreation. But who is to say how that should be conducted or what is right or wrong? Normal is that people are different. Different is not necessarily wrong. And morality is not the exclusive province of any religion. A person’s conduct or ideology is not automatically perverse simply because it differs from the majority.

    It is perverse to deny individuals the right to their own morality/sexuality and the right to privately pursue it in any manner they wish as long as it is natural to the nature of the individual and causes no harm to others!

    It is perverted to deny these rights through a dictum founded in a prejudicial faith hell bent on prosecutorial enforcement of a myopic righteousness instead of non-prejudicial law because that perverts the Constitutional protection of individual privacy, freedom of expression, and equal protection under the law.

    In fact, the U. S. Constitution clearly prohibits the enforcement of any one morality.

  4. billtc

    Thank you for this excellent commentary. I think the first sentence of your column summarizes our situation more succinctly than anything I’ve seen, i.e., that all of this preaching of “family values” has garnered enough votes to provoke a constitutional crisis. I get disgusted every time I think about the strategy in 2004 to play on anti-gay sentiment among the right-wing hate mongers in the “Christian” conservative Republican Party base to elect Bush in 2004. The number of anti-gay referenda in key states like Ohio did the trick for them, and it is beyond despicable that Bush is in the White House now because of Rove’s stategy to drive a wedge in the American electorate. If people hadn’t been suckered into voting for these hypocrites we wouldn’t be facing the consitutional crisis that looms today.

    Excellent column!

    Bill in SE TX

  5. keith

    Sadly, the latest public debate about so-called “Christian Values” (and against legalizing such things as gay marriage) has been commanded by a well-organized (albeit unlikely) combination of Roman Catholic and fundamentalist, evangelical “Christian” institutions. The latter remain particularly non-inclusive in their approach to religion.

    Fortunately, the hypocrisy of such “Christian” behavior (purported to be founded on principles of love, inclusiveness and acceptance, but which is most often manifested as narrow intolerance for the beliefs and behavior of others) is blatantly on display for the rest of the world to see.

    It’s also becoming ever harder for most true Christians to blindly accept lectures on what is “abnormal” sexual behavior from institutions that, in the case of the Catholic Church, still firmly considers celibacy for its priests to be “normal”.

    People and governments who truly believe in the full separation of Church and State should also recognize these protests as nothing more than a desperate, last-ditch attempt to salvage what’s now left of the Church’s once complete power to control people’s money, thoughts and lives.