Over lunch last week, a friend speculated that Vice President Dick Cheney must have some interesting Polaroid photos of President George W. Bush.
“Nothing else explains why Cheney has so much power,” she said. “He’s got something to hold over Bush.”
Interesting thought. Like most politicians, Bush has a closet full of skeletons, although most have been thoroughly vetted by now: Avoiding the Vietnam War by hiding out in the Texas Air Guard, hard drinking, rumors of cocaine use, etc.
So what’s left for Cheney to know? What could the Polaroid shots show?
- The aging frat boy getting it on with an underage Mexican whore in Tijuana? Nah. Even Mexican whores have standards.
- A White House intern on her knees servicing the First Member? Not likely said my friend. As she noted: “Who’d what that man’s Johnson in her mouth?”
- Bush snorting up a mountain of coke? If past rumors are true Bush doesn’t have enough mucous membrane left to use a Vick’s Inhaler much less nose candy.
- The Bush twins getting it on with their college football teams? That’s not news. Both Bush girls were known party animals.
- Laura in leathers wielding whips and chains? Let’s not go there.
That’s the problem with Bush. He’s such a miserable President that it’s hard to suspect him of normal human weaknesses. We know Bill Clinton would cop a feel but Bush is such a failure on so many levels that suspecting him of carnal weaknesses doesn’t come into play.
It’s also a disturbing commentary on the American political system. Clinton can be impeached for lying about dalliances with an intern but Bush can’t be touched about lying about a war that sends thousands of American men and women to their deaths.
Paul Wolfowitz helped manufacture false intelligence to sell the Iraq war to a gullible Congress and American public and was rewarded with a cushy job at the World Bank. It took promoting his girlfriend and giving her a big, fat raise to bring him down.
We punish people for human failings and give them a pass for far more serious crimes against the nation and the Constitution.
In such an environment Dick Cheney doesn’t need Polaroid pictures of George W. Bush or anyone else.
All he needs is the failure of the American political system.