Randall Tobias: The moral masturbation man

Masturbation or massage? Potato or potata? There’s no reason to preach to the choir here on CHB about sexual hyocprisy, but I do have a few thoughts about former Ambassador Tobias, the latest Bushie to get caught with someone other than his wife’s hands in his pants.

20030702-3_aids-070203-d-pm-250h.jpgBy most measures Tobias distinguished himself in the world of business after receiving his BA from Indiana University in 1964 and serving as an artillery officer in the army from 1964-66. He worked his way up to the top position at AT&T, and then moved on to run Eli Lilly.

Having made his millions, he moved into public service in 2003 as the first United States Global AIDS Coordinator with the rank of Ambassador and was recently made acting USAID chief.

Now, of course, he’s resigned in the wake of the Washington D.C. madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s, revelation that he availed himself of her girl’s $300 “legal high-end erotic fantasy service”.

Here’s what former Ambassador Tobias had to say about prostitution in a PBS interview:

PBS: But with regard to prostitutes and sex workers in developing countries, is it necessary to work with them? Do you try to get them to change behavior? And if they don’t, then what?

TOBIAS: First of all, very recently I was in Haiti in a program where we are working with prostitutes, teaching them skills that will give them the economic leverage to get out of prostituting. The particular program that I visited, young women were being taught the skills of being beauticians, of doing cosmetic work and hair work and that kind of thing. Now, none of these young women were saying, “I don’t want to work with this non-governmental organization because they have a policy opposing prostitution.” Quite the contrary. These young women were people who wanted to get out of prostitution. So there’s nothing about our policy of requiring organizations to oppose prostitution and sex trafficking that in any way gets in our way of working with people who have been traced, or people who are in prostitution, trying to get them out of it. …

PBS: But is there a moral quotient, a moral factor in your prevention work?

TOBIAS: There’s a certain moral aspect to it, but the principal focus of what we’re doing here is to carry out the prevention program that is at the heart of this program, which is abstinence, be faithful, and the correct and consistent use of condoms, driven by the fact that from a public health perspective, those are the components that really make the most sense.

PBS Interview

I will leave aside the economics of whether a prostitute in Haiti can earn more cutting hair. Who knows, maybe there are ritzy beauty salons Port-au-Prince.

And quite frankly I can’t really think of any clever jabs to add to this column since my own words would pale in comparison to Tobias’s own hypocritical words read in light of his own behavior.


MASTURBATION

SAFE SEX, IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

While I am no Doctor Ruth, I am a shrink who has done a quite bit of sex counseling, so I will offer advice to those in public life who don’t want to see their sexual activities reported by the Associated Press, let alone the National Enquirer.

If Bill Clinton had heeded his own Surgeon General Joycelyn Elder’s advice he would have avoided impeachment. Instead he fired her.

The first question that happened to be asked of Joycelyn Elders at this United Nations World AIDS Day Conference: “…if masturbation might be taught as a way to prevent AIDS?”

Joycelyn Elders replied: “masturbation is something that is a part of human sexuality, and is a part of something that perhaps should be taught.”

Later she said, “masturbation is really something you don’t have to teach.”

Joycelyn Elders was fired by President Clinton one week later
for “values contrary to the administration.” Reference

Discrete solitary masturbation is the one sure way to take the edge off sexual urges, is safe, sane and biblically neutral despite the story of Onan in Genesis 38:7-10.


Recommended Reading:

“I abhor injustice” Washngton Post front page, Sunday, July 29

Ex-AIDS chief in escort flap called hypocritical: Backed US policy that forbids aid to help prostitutes” Boston Globe

“U.S. aid official linked to call-girl ring resigns, Reuters

Is masturbation immoral? Onan in Genesis 38:7-10.

From ReligiousTolerance.com, what Jesus had to say, and more.

What CoolNurse.com has to say

The Smoking Gun is “staying on top of” the Palftry case.

Keep up with Deborah Jeane Palfrey and her “best defense is a good offense” on her own website.

4 Responses to "Randall Tobias: The moral masturbation man"

  1. Sandy Price  April 29, 2007 at 10:11 am

    Wonderful commentary and gave me the chuckle I needed this morning. I hope you get tons of replies (favorable, of course) on this commentary. It is one of the best!

  2. Bill Jonke  April 29, 2007 at 10:23 am

    Is the safest sex available to us.

    It’s effective, there’s no threat of VD, fatal or otherwise, and your wife or girlfriend won’t shoot you for being unfaithful.

    Unless you’re monogamous, anything else spells danger these days.

    It’s so simple, if all men kept their pants zipped up in the presence of another male or female, whichever they’re into, I iterate, unless it’s their spouse or significant other, the world would be a better place. The AIDS rate would plummet, the amount of unwanted babies would plummet, and quite possibly the moral standard might rise, no pun intended.

    Of course, I’m not so sure that Fundamentalist Christians really know how to do it; they may be the only ones who have to be taught, and because they can’t perform this simple act, they don’t want anybody else to.

  3. Razor  April 29, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Do you suppose taxpayers covered the cost of those exotic massages? At 2-3 hundred bucks a visit, one might assume it included all parts of the anatomy. At least we don’t have to sit through weeks of investigation to determine the definition of “is” or who was doing to or enjoying from whom. And at least Tobias stepped down without arguing about the facts. Poor overworked politicians just can’t help themselves when expense accounts pay for pleasure. Find a politician who is not a hypocrit and elect them, it would be a good start and a change.

  4. doctordonut  April 29, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    This is quite amusing – so I had to pass it along:

    http://www.theweeklydonut.org/index.php/2007/04/28/lets-tobias-some-tasty-escorts/

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