George W. Bush is not a conservative. Neither are those imposters who control the House and Senate on Capitol Hill.

They are many things but conservative ain’t one of them. Real conservatives wouldn’t have anything to do with these creatures who have invaded our society like a hoard of ravenous termites.

Real conservatives believe in less government, the sovereignty of states and the rights of the individuals. The clowns running our government share none of these beliefs.

Real conservatives wouldn’t have created the largest bureaucracy in history, given us the rights-robbing USA Patriot Act, tried to ram an increasing number of onerous federal regulations down the throats of state governments or driven our economy to the edge or ruin with record deficits.

Real conservatives don’t vote to bring the federal courts into a private family tragedy like the Terri Schiavo affair. They don’t forget the promises they made to the American voters to gain control of Congress. Can anyone here say “term limits?”

Nope. These turkeys are phonies, faux conservatives who sold out their party and their nation in exchange for political power. They pander to the so-called neocons – power mad despots who answer only to the bigots, racists and homophobes who have taken over the Republican Party and our government.

They claim they represent “real” Americans but polls show an ever-increasing majority of Americans grow more and more disenchanted with the actions of these pretenders to the throne.

Real conservatives use their brains as more than receptacles for rabid right-wing propaganda. Those who follow Dubya and his klavern of co-conspirators in Congress are brain-dead lemmings hypnotized by the GOP’s current message of hate, intolerance and fear.

I’m conservative in most of my beliefs – a supporter of the Second Amendment who owns enough guns to start a small revolution, one who believes murderers should die for their crimes and a firm believer in individual rights. I expect my government to balance its books and stay the hell out of my private life. I don’t want the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (or any other federal entity) monitoring my spending and travel habits and I think Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has no goddamned business asking my local library what books I read.

I expect my state and local governments to determine how fast I can drive on the roads near by home and not be forced by the feds to enforce a unreasonable limit through threats of withholding of federal funds. I expect the Representative and Senator who represents my little corner of the world to spend his time in Washington keeping his promises, not kowtowing to a bastardized conservatism that has little to do with the real meaning of the word.

If, and when, you find a real conservative in the White House or roaming the halls of Congress, give me a call.

But I’m not waiting in hopeless anticipation for the phone to ring. Nah. I’ll just keep asking:

Who the hell are these people?