Bimbo Du Jour

Jessica Cutler lost her job on Capitol Hill Friday but says she’s not worried.

“That was so two days ago,” the 24-year-old told The Washington Post over the weekend (when did 20-something graduates of Syracuse University start talking like California valley girls?).

Officially, Cutler lost her job for “inappropriate use of Senate office equipment.” Unofficially, Ohio Senator Mike DeWine canned her for kissing and telling.

Cutler claims she likes to sleep around and then write about it in her weblog, The Washingtonienne, a frisky account of a young girl who uses sex to both relieve boredom and make a little money on the side.


Most of my living expenses are thankfully subsidized by a few generous older gentlemen. I’m sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: how can anybody live on $25K/year??

If you investigated every Staff Ass on the Hill, I am sure you would find out some freaky shit. No way can anybody live on such a low salary. I am convinced that the Congressional offices are full of dealers and hos.

Cutler never revealed her identity in her sex log but another chronicler of Washington life, The Wonkette, did (initially only as DeWine staffer, not by name) and – as Mr. Spock of Star Trek used to say – the defecation hit the rotary oscillator.

Because she used DeWine’s Senate office computers to update her weblog and did so when she was supposed to be working, DeWine had every right to fire her. The fact that DeWine is one of those straight-laced politicians who actually believes what he says about morality and family values made the dismissal a no-brainer.

Cutler says she doesn’t care. She didn’t like her job anyway and she’s thinking of moving to New York and working in the publishing industry.

“They’ll totally hire me if I say I got fired from my job on the Hill because of a sex scandal,” she told the Post.

Word has it that several agents have already contacted Cutler and are shopping her for television talk show appearances and a book deal. She says she can’t understand why it is such a big deal.

“It’s amazing to me that people have any interest in such a low-level sex scandal. If I were sleeping with a congressman, maybe, but I’m a nobody and the people I’m writing about are nobodies.”

Cutler claims to have been sleeping, on a regular basis, with six men, including a married staffer, someone in her office and an administration appointee who paid her $400 for an evening’s entertainment.

She says the money was “more of a gift” than payment for sex but her weblog is filled with references of sex for money.  As for banging six men, she laughs and says “there’s seven days in the week.”

While Cutler is probably exaggerating her sexual exploits, her attitudes towards sex are not that unusual on Capitol Hill. As a Staff Assistant (often called “Staff Ass” for short), she works long hours for little money in an office environment that would not be tolerated out in the real world.

Although there are hundreds of young Hill staffers who come to Washington with wide-eyed, idealistic expectations of “doing something for my country,” there are also many Jessica Cutlers, party girls who come for the good time.

Young find them often in political circles. In Illinois, when I covered the statehouse, they called them “Statehouse monkeys” because they “hold on to their jobs with their tails.”

Politics thrives on power, both real and imagined, and power is a strong aphrodisiac. It allows men who otherwise couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse to bed young women half their age.

Donna Rice, the party girl whose dalliances with Senator Gary Hart on a boat appropriately called “Monkey Business” and later at his Washington home, admitted later that she wasn’t drawn to Hart because of any charm or good looks but because of the aura of power that surrounded the then Presidential candidate.  Monica Lewinsky probably wouldn’t have shown her thong to Bill Clinton if he had sold insurance in her home town.

In 1982, I signed on to be freshman Congressman Dan Burton’s chief of staff for his first term. Setting up a new Congressional office meant sorting through hundreds of resumes and interviewing dozens of potential staffers.

One young lady, whose resume listed campaign work for fellow Indiana congressman John Hiler, showed up for her interview with a dress too short for the times, a blouse too tight for the occasion and cleavage too ample to be ignored.

During the interview, she managed to lean forward several times, giving me astounding views of what were, admittedly, incredible breasts.

“Listen,” she said breathlessly, locking me with a CFM stare, “I will do anything to get this job.  I mean anything.”

She failed to get the job but curiosity drove me to call a friend in Hiler’s office.

“Oh yeah, I remember her,” he said. “Did she say she would do anything to get the job?”


“She will, but don’t waste your time. She’s not that good in the sack.”

First rule of sexual politics. If you’re going to use your body to get ahead, make sure you’re good in bed.