Dumb and Dumber

Whenever I have the gall to point out to the mindless minions who follow George W. Bush that their leader is an ethically-challenged, flimsy excuse for a President, I can count on a mailbox full of anonymous obscenities.

Apparently, most of these cretins can’t string enough words together to create a simple, declarative sentence. And, when they accidentally manage to do so, it exhausts so much of their limited brain power that they forget to sign their names.

Typical. I’ve found that most of those who choose to follow Bush into the wilderness of political destruction dominate the lower end of the food chain. No sane homo sapiens with IQs above that of the average plant could possibly believe Dubya is capable of leading a Cub Scout pack on a short hike, much less a nation for four more years.

Yet Bush, for all his failures, cannot be blamed for all of the faults of the American political system. Politics, as it is practiced today, appeals to the lowest common denominator, the mental midgets who actually believe the constant barrage of bullshit that spills out of the mouths of politicians like diarrhea.

Political messages, whether they come from George W. Bush or John F. Kerry, contain no substance. They are calculated to (1) scare or (2) enrage or (3) capitalize on the preconceptions of a target audience.

Political strategists pour over mountains of demographic data, gathered from public opinion polls, focus groups and message analysis, and then craft carefully-worded one-liners that appeal not to reason but to gut reactions on hot-button issues.

Those issues are usually emotionally-charged topics like abortion, economy, jobs, war and national security. Yet the goal is never to enlighten or educate an uninformed and ignorant public. Instead, the messages must whip voters into frenzy, striking just the right chord with a populace who really never understood the issue in the first place.

Sadly, these tactics win elections. Bush can count on right-wing demagogues like Rush Limbaugh to play upon the ignorance of voters and obscure the truth with hyperbole while inciting hate and anger among the bigots, homophobes and single-issue zealots who give the Republican Party enough votes to win elections.

On the Democratic side, John F. Kerry can count on organized labor to rally workers who don’t – for a second – understand the real issues that confront this nation but who will work their tails off for a candidate simply because their union bosses tell them to.

So where does this leave the rest of us who use our grey matter for more than a sponge to soak up political rhetoric?


And we don’t even get kissed first.