Obama’s White House Leadership Checklist

1. Identify an issue that people want to hear about.

2. Make a GREAT SPEECH on the subject, to cheering crowds, happy faces, and even good editorial page coverage.

3. Quit. Do nothing else. Ignore the task of leadership.

4. After too much time has passed, have Rahm bitch at the Progressive Caucus for complaining about the complete inaction by the White House.

5. Meet every perceived demand made by political opponents, making sure that the knife that you use to stab your supporters in the back is razor sharp, and free of fingerprints and grime.

6. Have Rahm look at the polling data on said issue.

7. Freak out over polling data.

8. Hold emergency White House meeting.

9. Hold secret emergency meeting with select members of Congress.

10. Rush helter skelter, trying to repair the leaking boat. Send the President out to give a last minute speech.

11. Issue public statement regretting why the President lost on an issue that was near and dear to his heart.

12. Criticize and blame others, under cover, especially Progressives and others who brought you the bad news.

13. Identify an issue that people want to hear about.


  1. bryan mcclellan

    14. Hone blade for new round of cuts in domestic tranquility.

    15.Stand and declare…..Anything.

    16. Rush in partisan fashion to the next photo op on live television.

    17. Make a new Csar, Tsar, whatever….

    18. Vacation in Hilo with George and Bill….

    19. Invite Bill over to discuss expediting accelerating jobs exodus from the Americas..

    20. Give George a new chainsaw in White house ceremony and let him cut Oval office desk in half..

    21. Make sure taxpayers pay shipping and freight for half of desk to Crawford including security detail ditty bags for participation.

    22. Find the guy that told Cheney too go F^&k himself and Guantanamo him.

    23. Reenact the crossing of the Delaware with all your Cabinet in a leaky rubber raft.

    24. Look on with horror as millions of Americans suddenly protest that they no longer can swim to save themselves let alone you and your ship of fools…

    25. Call George, ask for sanctuary in Paraguay…

    26. Hope you can find a big enough can of fix-a-flat to get Air Force one off the ground to ELBE.


  2. bryan mcclellan

    28. Give an interview to a chicken and tell him why you couldn’t cross the road to honest and open governance.

    29.Beat around the bush as to why, he , said chicken, is in the soup bereft of so much as a carrot.

    30. Vaguely explain that Chinese carrots will be cheaper in the short run avoiding all rutabaga questions along with the acacia shortage.

    31. Announce town hall meeting times to discuss long past government predictability by citing founding principles of lets move on because it would make us look bad internationally..

    32. Make it obvious inadvertently with superfluous certainty, you are out of your league.

    33. Fertilize grass roots.

    34. Have CIA/NSA turn over sod ignoring seeds of liberty.

    35. Explain why HOPE is too big to fail while serving soup sandwiches over the airwaves to the radioless ones neath underpasses everywhere .

    36. Take another piss on the constitution and have your A.G. hold it for you.

    Ha, Nuremberg who.

    37. Call George and ask for important paper testicles you left in his side of the desk.

    38. Hang up if Bill answers.

    39. Have a Tsar/Czar task force find out who in the hell is Nuremberg.

    40. Briefly mention our armed forces aiming at their insignificance versus our global cabal of FUBARINSKY.

    41. How many is that ?

    42. Identify an issue that people want to hear about.

  3. bryan mcclellan

    I’m ready for more, with your permission Rob.
    Cynicism grinding is good for the soul…Thanks.