1. Identify an issue that people want to hear about.

2. Make a GREAT SPEECH on the subject, to cheering crowds, happy faces, and even good editorial page coverage.

3. Quit. Do nothing else. Ignore the task of leadership.

4. After too much time has passed, have Rahm bitch at the Progressive Caucus for complaining about the complete inaction by the White House.

5. Meet every perceived demand made by political opponents, making sure that the knife that you use to stab your supporters in the back is razor sharp, and free of fingerprints and grime.

6. Have Rahm look at the polling data on said issue.

7. Freak out over polling data.

8. Hold emergency White House meeting.

9. Hold secret emergency meeting with select members of Congress.

10. Rush helter skelter, trying to repair the leaking boat. Send the President out to give a last minute speech.

11. Issue public statement regretting why the President lost on an issue that was near and dear to his heart.

12. Criticize and blame others, under cover, especially Progressives and others who brought you the bad news.

13. Identify an issue that people want to hear about.

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