By SANDY PRICE
LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s get serious folks, we have a potential disaster on our hands and we need to discuss it. Vice President Al Gore is pointing his fickle finger at me for contaminating the planet earth with my f*cking fossil fuel fumes. Over the years my automobile has caused the glaciers to melt stranding a beautiful white polar bear looking at the camera with sad brown eyes. I can hardly stand before you and must confess.
I admit I spend a lot of time watching the science programs on my newly installed extended cable connections. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not that well educated and have little science background. I understand that when rain does not fall, our rivers dry up. Now you know all that I know. I also know that when ice melts, rivers rise. But what comes first? The ice storms that build the glaciers or the heat of the sun that melts them? IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m more concerned with the cycle of these mysterious actions and why I am to blame.
We are all aware of the various ice ages that our scientists have discovered through their coring of the old ice and it seems that since our planet formed into a solid rather than a gas orb, the sun seemed to ignore heating us enough to bring life. The ice melting rose up the seas and oceans and tons of interesting things wandered to dry land. The time line seems to indicate this was a cycle of hot and cold meaning the sun was showing an emotional reaction to our planets.. In looking back in my own genetic existence. I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t remember if I started out as a single cell somethingorother but I do know that whatever form I wandered around in, I was in grave danger of the dinosaurs.
Whoever sent that meteor has my gratitude, it cleared out those ugly critters and allowed my cell to grow and develop over the years into what sits before you now. I learned that Venus has such a problem with green house gas that the ground cannot harden enough to support life as we know it. Okay Al Gore, where the hell did this green house gas come from as I swear I never drove to or from Venus.
In 2007 it seems that all of Washington D.C. has as line up of terrors just waiting to throw at all of us. If it isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t Al Qaeda it is a load of guilt from Al Gore blaming us for everything! I refuse to live another day with this guilt that weighs me down. Must I always be afraid of anything named Ã¢â‚¬ÂAl?Ã¢â‚¬Â.
Everybody has an answer for our unsaintly morals and our abuse of our automobiles. The Federal Government spends millions of dollars and far too many hours looking at what we all are doing to ruin our environment. I want some honest scientific proof from scientists (not loser politicians) and I want it now before these idiots use it as a partisan issue in the next election.
IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m too old to take on the science of why we cycle from ice to heat. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m also too old to learn how the American government went from protecting our American values into a force of evil dictatorship. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m beginning to think none of us should live beyond the age of 60 because we tend to get skeptical of everything and learn to trust nobody. I reached 60, 14 years ago and I became a disgruntled old bitch when I realized nothing I valued in America was worth a damn.
So President Bush and V.P. Gore, put up or shut up!
(Sandy Price began her political activism after finally getting cable in her area of the central California coast. She watched two hours of C-SPAN and realized she needed to get involved immediately. That was in 1993 and once she found the internet, it was just the beginning. She is now retired from working as a technical writer and costume designer and lives in Sun City, AZ.)