Screw a bigwig, make money

Someone once noted that the only difference between a mistress and a whore was the amount of money involved.

Mistresses, as a general rule, make more — lots more.

Case in point: Cindy Hampton, the campaign aide nailed by Sen. John Ensign. The not-so-good Senator revealed Thursday that his mommy and daddy paid Hampton about a hundred grand.

That’s a lot of walking around money or, in her case, laying around cash. Others say Ensign gave her a $25 grand "severance" package when the affair — and her job — ended. Cindy also has a husband and a couple of kids so maybe she needed the money

I worked a lot of campaigns during my time in politics. If I was lucky, I got a "thank you" from the candidate and maybe a trinket as a gift. But then, I didn’t screw any of them — literally or figuratively. None of them were my type anyway.

Sinful Cindy is not the only one to cash in by bedding down an important politician. Monica Lewinsky gave Bill Clinton a blowjob, then got a book deal and a line of handbags named after her.

Rielle Hunter banged North Carolina Senator and presidential wannabe John Edwards and got a $100,000 video contract. Looks like 100 grand is the going rate for political mistress/whores these days.

Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer didn’t go the mistress route. He simply shelled out 80 grand over several years for high-priced call girls (translation: expensive whores), including $4,300 for one night with "Kristen — an American, petite, very pretty brunette, 5 feet 5 inches and 105 pounds."

Four grand and change. Wow. She must have been something.

Politicians who think with their balls instead of their brains are nothing new and those who defend their sexual hijinks say that what these bozos go with their own time is nobody else’s business.

But let’s think about the stupidity of these clowns. These are the same people who make decisions that affect the futures of this nation and all of us.

Can we expect fiscal responsibility from a Presidential candidate who shells out 100 grand for a little on the side? Can we expect maturity from a Nevada Senator who runs to mommy and daddy to help him pay off a lover? Did New Yorkers get their money’s worth from a governor who thought a quickie in a hotel room was worth four grand plus?

We elect these folks as leaders and the only place they lead is to the bedroom for some nooky on the side.

No wonder America is in trouble.