“Presidential candidate Palin”, three years to get used to it

She’s running. You betcha. I heard her come close to saying it outright today. I wasn’t drunk and I assure you I’m not delusional. Gov. Sarah Palin all but announced  her bid for the Republican nomination for 2012. I don’t see why the CNN commentators seemed so befuddled as to her reasons after the announcement unless they’d had one too many martinis at lunch.

Maybe if I was inebriated I would have heard her fractured or folksy speech (depending on your bias) as something else. I can’t imagine what. Why else would she resign?
It’s certainly not the first reason she gave, one I think will be lost on most people. She said it was because she didn’t want to be one of those lame duck governors who have lots of fun, take all kinds of junkets, milking their paycheck, and shortchanging the state as if that’s what all lame duck governors do. (See the video here.)
Then she said could do more outside of the governorship where she’ll have "more freedom to progress". Sounds to me as if she’s saying she needs the freedom to progress to the presidency.
She said she’s going to take what she calls an unconventional path. Running for president as a former small town mayor and the less than one term governor of a small state is certainly unconventional. Preisdent Obama’s path to the presidency wasn’t conventional, so perhaps he’s proved to her that without the impediment of that 72 year old guy and the pests from the RNC, nothing can stop Sarah Barracuda .
She said "only dead fish go with the flow" which is great imagery for a campaign ad. Picture the Alaskan salmon fighting their way upriver to spawn.  Uh-oh, better not go there…
If this doesn’t sound like a proclamation of her candidacy I don’t know what does:
… you’re naive if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory.
I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision – but it’s no more "politics as usual".
She quit because this will enable her to help all Alaskans, and our troops overseas (reminding us she just visited Kosovo) and, of course help everyone who would love to have been among all those well-scrubbed white Americans surrounding her on her lakeside lawn and getting Sarah hugs on the CNN live feed.
How else can Sarah save the real America except by becoming president?
She can’t be encumbered by something as boring and obscure as governing a state where the legislature only meets for only 90 days. 
First, she needs to make money. She has to pay off the half million in legal bills she and husband Todd have. Then she can  use the rest for her campaign. I envision a book unlike any politician’s book in history because it will be the must have Republican coffee table book. It will have pages and pages of glossy color photos,
 … and lots of flags and flesh.
It will outsell the Madonna Sex Book.
Thank goodness she’ll be in the national spotlight. 
Huckabee and Romney are boring. 
I was running out of ideas for columns about interesting Republicans.


  1. AustinRanter

    Hal…we may be sniffing the scent of Palin on the wrong trail.

    What if Palin moves in the direction winning a Senate seat. If she could pull that off…she’s still young in the greater scheme of things and one term in the Senate could be just the leverage she needs to make a move on the following presidential run.

    It worked for Obama…

    Albeit her legal situation, and we’re not real clear on all of the issues and just what she’ll have to face in the near future…there’s a better chance of her going through a legal battle or battles with possibly a lesser hounding from the media. She’ll still be in the public eye…but maybe without any substantial damage she might accrue as governor.

    Dunno…just a thought.

  2. bryan mcclellan

    It is doubtful Alaskans will ever send a boob of this magnitude to the Senate as they have to know they have been jilted at the alter of political expediency.

    You are right Austin in that as a private citizen or US Senator she could continue her crime wave without fear of any real retribution, and would enjoy the lack of scrutiny along with the other ilk in those storied chambers of corruption.

  3. Hal Brown

     She could run for U.S. Senate but if she lost she’d be finished politically. She’d be running in a state where she’d be accused of walking away from completing her commitment to the state to be their governor for a full term. There would be no reason why she couldn’t stay on as governor, do a good job, and position herself for an easy win if she ran for senator.

    If she ran for Senate and won in 2010 she’d have to do a good job there as a freshman senator, one of a hundred Senators, and you better believe she’d be under media scrutiny. Every misstep would be fodder for the Democrats and the the media.

    She’d also be watched carefully by Alaskans who would want to make sure she wasn’t shortchanging them as their senator.

    If she wants to run for president she has to figure out a way to become a national political figure. I can’t see how she can do it unless she spends most of her time in the lower 48 building political capital.


  4. AustinRanter

    Hal…Bryan…as we know, Alaska is a stronghold for the Conservative (and a sort of religous right) base.

    As the old saying goes, “Birds of a Feather Flock Together”. We might well consider Palin to be a “boob”, but remember, Alaska has a relavtively small population…who could all have “boob” mentality.

    So the Alaskan voters may well see her plot in progress and support and endorse it if she makes a political move to go to Washington.

    There are a lot of people in Alaska who believe Stevens was railroaded.

    Hal, I agree, if Palin couldn’t make the cut to get in the Senate or House, it would be an uphill struggle to do any kind of comeback, but she is so ego-centric that I believe she’d take such a chance.

  5. Warren

    Self interest. It may come down to how much jail time does she want to serve. The rumors of building materials for the sports complex falling off the truck at Palin’s new house are very persistent. If it’s true that indictments are on the way, the lynch mob will be a good deal smaller and quieter if she isn’t governor at the time.


  6. JudyB

    The strange thing about all of this is…though this woman is dumber than dirt, not even one of you have mentioned the fact that she COULD be resigning to get herself “edjahkated”.
    Could this be due to the fact that we are all cynics?..No, the truth is that we are all smart enough to know that she’s either running FROM something or FOR something.

  7. John1172002

    I understand that she has a college degree. If so, this is a sad comment on Americas’ loss of standing in the world today. I knew that Africa was a continent by the time I was eight. She has proven that she is NOT smarter than a fifth grader. A truly sad commentary about our school system. Or would she spell it “skool sistim”?
    My Lord, she is dumb as a box of rocks! If this, and Jindal, are the best the Republicans can come up with, God help us all if a Republican ever gets into office!

    BTW, the NY Senate is still split 31-31 as I write this, and their buffoonery has cost the NY taxpayer over 5 million dollars. I can only pray that the voters remember this childish behavior at the next election.

  8. Warren

    We need a contest. “Sarah Palin is dumber than ______ .” So far in this thread we have:
    ‘a box of rocks’
    ‘a pail of hammers’
    A brief Google adds:
    ‘a NASCAR driver’
    ‘a pillar box’
    ‘bag of hammers’

    The list goes on. Any good additions? Or is this too off-topic? Heck, it’s fun.


  9. bryan mcclellan

    Two toes short of a three toed sloth,
    and twice as irrelevant as a self licking ice cream cone.

  10. Warren

    4th of July spirit: A Tupperware bowl of soft-set Cherry Jello with mini marshmallows topped with Cool Whip.


  11. Nogood

    How can we best describe this nation if this stupid (word deleted by HB) is elected the office of President or for that matter if she is elected to any national office and the answer is that we are dumber than she is.

  12. Hal Brown

     Please boys and girls, let’s not get carried away with the insults.

    I was hoping that just about my favorite professional columnist Maureen Dowd, who had until today to write her New York Times OpEd, would do a masterful job on Sarah Palin.


    Sarah Palin showed on Friday that in one respect at least, she is qualified to be president.

    Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.

    Usually we don’t find that exquisite battiness in our leaders until they’ve been battered by sordid scandals like Watergate (Nixon), gnawing problems like Vietnam (L.B.J.), or scary threats like biological terrorism (Cheney).


    READ: Now, Sarah’s Folly

    She’s often taken on the same topic as me and made my piece look like lame in comparison. I do like her using the word battiness though. Ditzy battiness would describe her even better.

    But considering mine was written and updated online while she was giving her Queen of Hearts (as in Alice’s Wonderland) pronouncement in all modesty I think I did pretty well in my little who can be the most snarky and clever competition with Maureen.

  13. Hal Brown

     I was just going to leave this on reader rant but then read how her Facebook entry references a "higher calling".

    What "higher calling" in her frame of reference would there be than this?

    if she really wants to have a huge impact, be in the glare of the klieg lights, on television every week, be literally worshiped… she can start a mega-church and be a televangelist. She could broadcast from a shrine to herself. She could make Joel Olsteen look like nobody. Don’t know who he is? I admit didn’t. We need to keep up on these things. He’s pastor of a non-denominational Christian megachurch located in Houston, Texas, USA. It is the largest church in the USA, averaging more than 43,000 in attendance per week. Lakewood now occupies the 16,000-seat arena previously home to the Houston Rockets.

    (Wikipedia) The TV broadcasts are seen in 100 countries. Read this article from 2005 HERE

  14. ekaton

    Ditzy battiness would describe her even better.
    And better yet, loopy ditzy battiness.
    I saw her appearance in front of her airplane on one of the news channels. She is more incoherent than George Bush. I guess that’s what the Republicans go for these days. (The democrats idolize an elegant speaker while ignoring his actions.)

    Kent Shaw

  15. Nogood

    “She could make Joel Olsteen look like nobody. Don’t know who he is? I admit didn’t”

    Just another “con man” in the pulpit. Like Palin would be in the Oval Office. But really, there is not too much difference between a t.v. preacher and a politician.

  16. sherry

    Charges against Ted Stevens were dropped. It would appear he was a target.
    Alaskans may be a bit weary of another such charge.

  17. bogofree

    Well I take the view…and I do mean view – that what is in the works is a pictorial in a magazine that will offer enough dough to fund a campaign. A cougar or MILF edition in the works? Get my vote if I actually voted anymore.

    Those silly little arrows that one of the news magazines has would have American politics trending down for the last twenty or so years. Time to update the passport and check out Honduras.

  18. AustinRanter

    Forgive me Hal,

    I just posted the following in another column “A CIVIC LESSON”…which stated that only 1 in 3 can name all 3 branches of government:

    “Duh…no sh!t. We’ve become a nation dumber than a pail of hammers.

    The government interventionists plans have worked. Keep America dumbed down. That makes for the very best kind of voters.

    Brace yourself…Sarah Palin just resigned as governor. She said that she promised that she wouldn’t adhere to “government as usual” and that she isn’t able to make Alaska’s politicians do what she wants so she’s pulling up her panties and going to the White House next election (partly paraphrased and a tiny bit made up).”

    I honestly don’t think I can stand 3 years of political ads by Palin. In fact, I’m nearly 100% certain that I won’t be able to stand a single political ad by any candidate.

    We have a seriously sick system of government. “We The People” apparently don’t have the intellect or the guts to attempt to fix the problems.

    I’m just waiting for a bottom to occur. Then maybe the American voters will go to some 12 step political program to wean themselves from sucking the government tit…start learning about how government works….and change it.

    Gezzzz, it’s gonna get worse. How in the hell can we survive the political ignorance in this country?

  19. AustinRanter

    Hahahaha!….that’s the only plus. I can handle the caricature of Palin…just not Palin herself.

  20. sherry

    Thanks Hal. Thanks to Tina Fey, people actually believe Palin said “I can see Russia from my house”
    That’s what we need Hal, more Americans getting their political education regarding candidates from SNL.
    That could explain why we elected the least qualified man for POTUS. Hey, it’s ok. He’s black and we really needed that more than a qualified POTUS.

  21. bryan mcclellan

    Hold on to your hats. Lies, innuendo, and political hate speech now have a three year window in which to reach their crescendo.
    We are about to be treated to more of the vacuous region that is the Palin mind. Only deep space holds nether regions with less substance or logical activity.

    Do you think she will choose the Maverick to be her running mate Hal?

  22. ekaton

    I have got to get the f*** out of this country. I just cannot stand it anymore.

    Kent Shaw

  23. bryan mcclellan

    They wouldn’t be able to get him out from under the chair after the first time she bitch slapped him Hal…Har.

    This smacks of damage control. There are probably larger ethics questions about her job performance and she knows the end is near. Rather than be forced out she’s looking for some semblance of high ground in the pit she has dug for herself.

  24. keith

    I’m waiting for Ms. Palin’s first “exploratory” trip to New Hampshire.

    Only then will we ABSOLUTELY know what her REAL plans are.

    In fact, it’s about time for ALL such 2012 Presidential wannabees to start poking around up here.

    Clearly, ONE of the primary reasons the Republicans lost the last Presidential election is because they put up a horrifically unqualified, far right governor of a rural, out of the mainstream state (Alaska) as their Vice Presidential candidate.

    However, come 2012 (if Ms. Palin even MAKES it that far politically) she’ll now be even LESS qualified.

    The Republicans…self-professed party of “family values” who freely allowed themselves to be hijacked by the fundamentalist Christian right….just keep digging themselves into a deeper and deeper pit of hypocrisy.

    Barry Goldwater has GOT to be turning over in his grave about now!

  25. Hal Brown

     Goldwater (refresh your memory here) might be thinking "what has my legacy wrought" because his landslide defeat to Johnson led to a steady move of the party from his basic conservative principles and opposition to Great Society philosophy, to the dominance of the religious right, which he came out against in the 1980’s.

  26. keith

    his landslide defeat to Johnson led to a steady move of the party from his basic conservative principles and opposition to Great Society philosophy, to the dominance of the religious right, which he came out against in the 1980’s.

    ….all of which was precisely my point!

  27. Hal Brown

     That what I thought Keith you meant.

    Not all of our readers are as old as dirt like me and up on Barry Goldwater so I wanted to add the link.

    I grew up with a Republican father and the 1964 race was the first one where we supported different candidates. I admit that I didn’t gain enlightenment in 1960 (Kennedy vs. Nixon) which was before I went to college the next year.

  28. keith

    I had much the same upbringing, Hal. I even recall my grandfather refusing to watch Huntley and Brinkley on the evening news once he found out they were Democrats.

    As you may also know, Barry was an avid Amateur (Ham) Radio Operator, and was quite supportive of a Ham Radio satellite project that I (and many other Hams) were working on back in the 1990s.

    Before he passed on, I had the good fortune (in 1996) to visit and chat with him in his “Ham Shack” at his spacious retirement home in Scottsdale, Arizona.

    And while he was always supportive of the “little guy”, I recall at the time that he was particularly upset at all the infighting and personal character attacks that were then being hurled back and forth on the floor of the US Senate.

    In particular, I recall him saying that while he and his colleagues could and would argue vehemently on the floor of the Senate over the nation’s business, when the day was over, they all had nothing but respect for each other. Indeed, he recalled that many of his personal friends were Democratic Senators of the day.

    Sadly, those days are now LONG gone.

    I often wonder what Barry would say today about all the rigid, intolerant, and eliminationist rhetoric now being spouted by his (now far Christian-right-dominated) Republican Party?

    No doubt, it would be some blunt comment full of his unique brand of expletives!

  29. Hal Brown

     Of course, if this is true, I could be totally wrong about her presidential aspirations.


    The suddenness of her announcement raises the question about whether Palin resigned to avert a major scandal. One logical place to start looking is the affair that has Alaska political circles buzzing: an alleged scandal centered around a building contractor, Spenard Building Supplies, with close ties to Palin and her husband, Todd.

    Many political observers in Alaska are fixated on rumors that federal investigators have been seizing paperwork from SBS in recent months, searching for evidence that Palin and her husband Todd steered lucrative contracts to the well-connected company in exchange for gifts like the construction of their home on pristine Lake Lucille in 2002. 


    Read in The Daily Beast

    Alas, if this happens, no more Tina Fey as Palin on Saturday Night Live.

    This image has been (or is hereby) released into the public domain by its author, Cicero17 at the wikipedia project.

  30. gazelle1929

    If I were cynical, I would believe that the rumors of federal investigations into Palin’s activities were just that, rumors.

    The people around Obama are certainly astute and are certainly positioning their man for a repeat performance in 2012. Why the hell would they shoot the Palin goose by putting her in jail now? Wait until she’s the nominee and then drop the bomb on her. Of course, it probably makes little difference who the DOP (Dead old Party) puts up in 2012. There’s certainly no one around now who might give Obama a real race.

  31. Hal Brown


    It is difficult not to succumb to cynicism when it comes to politics. I resist it all the time.

    As a shrink I feel I am always lecturing about what is best for one’s mental health and what isn’t. I try to apply this to myself not always with success.

    In the scale of pathological defense mechanisms when applied to politics, cynicism isn’t the worst by a long shot. In fact after humor, it is probably the healthiest.

    Denial is far worse and worse still is political paranoia which is on the edge between a defense mechanism and real psychopathology.

    But still realism isn’t even a defense mechanism and I think we should all strive for it.

    Realistically we ought to assess the DOJ’s history and while was certainly politicized to the Nth degree under George W. Bush, even then there were career employees who tried – at risk to their jobs as we now know – to do the right thing.

    If the Palins broke federal law I expect there’s a good chance they will be prosecuted regardless of the politics involved.

  32. sherry

    I realize Obama is still the next thing to God right now. However, it has been less than 7 months since he took office. Perhaps you are impressed. A lot of people are not.
    So much for his transparency. What ever happened to posting bills online for 5 days prior to the vote?
    Whatever happened to the fiscal responsibility he talked about?
    How about that staged town hall meeting? Planting all the friendly qustioners, former supporters in his campaign no less. And planting HuffPo with the press corp?
    O yeah. He’s the ONE. No. Hell no.
    After 4 years, the feather weight Palin may look good.