“Presidential candidate Palin”, three years to get used to it

She’s running. You betcha. I heard her come close to saying it outright today. I wasn’t drunk and I assure you I’m not delusional. Gov. Sarah Palin all but announced  her bid for the Republican nomination for 2012. I don’t see why the CNN commentators seemed so befuddled as to her reasons after the announcement unless they’d had one too many martinis at lunch.

Maybe if I was inebriated I would have heard her fractured or folksy speech (depending on your bias) as something else. I can’t imagine what. Why else would she resign?
 
It’s certainly not the first reason she gave, one I think will be lost on most people. She said it was because she didn’t want to be one of those lame duck governors who have lots of fun, take all kinds of junkets, milking their paycheck, and shortchanging the state as if that’s what all lame duck governors do. (See the video here.)
 
Then she said could do more outside of the governorship where she’ll have "more freedom to progress". Sounds to me as if she’s saying she needs the freedom to progress to the presidency.
 
She said she’s going to take what she calls an unconventional path. Running for president as a former small town mayor and the less than one term governor of a small state is certainly unconventional. Preisdent Obama’s path to the presidency wasn’t conventional, so perhaps he’s proved to her that without the impediment of that 72 year old guy and the pests from the RNC, nothing can stop Sarah Barracuda .
 
 
She said "only dead fish go with the flow" which is great imagery for a campaign ad. Picture the Alaskan salmon fighting their way upriver to spawn.  Uh-oh, better not go there…
 
If this doesn’t sound like a proclamation of her candidacy I don’t know what does:
 
 
… you’re naive if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory.
 
 
I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision – but it’s no more "politics as usual".
 
 
She quit because this will enable her to help all Alaskans, and our troops overseas (reminding us she just visited Kosovo) and, of course help everyone who would love to have been among all those well-scrubbed white Americans surrounding her on her lakeside lawn and getting Sarah hugs on the CNN live feed.
 
How else can Sarah save the real America except by becoming president?
 
She can’t be encumbered by something as boring and obscure as governing a state where the legislature only meets for only 90 days. 
 
First, she needs to make money. She has to pay off the half million in legal bills she and husband Todd have. Then she can  use the rest for her campaign. I envision a book unlike any politician’s book in history because it will be the must have Republican coffee table book. It will have pages and pages of glossy color photos,
 
 … and lots of flags and flesh.
 
It will outsell the Madonna Sex Book.
 
 
Thank goodness she’ll be in the national spotlight. 
 
Huckabee and Romney are boring. 
 
I was running out of ideas for columns about interesting Republicans.
 
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Comments

  1. bogofree

    Well I take the view…and I do mean view – that what is in the works is a pictorial in a magazine that will offer enough dough to fund a campaign. A cougar or MILF edition in the works? Get my vote if I actually voted anymore.

    Those silly little arrows that one of the news magazines has would have American politics trending down for the last twenty or so years. Time to update the passport and check out Honduras.

  2. sherry

    Charges against Ted Stevens were dropped. It would appear he was a target.
    Alaskans may be a bit weary of another such charge.

  3. Nogood

    “She could make Joel Olsteen look like nobody. Don’t know who he is? I admit didn’t”

    Just another “con man” in the pulpit. Like Palin would be in the Oval Office. But really, there is not too much difference between a t.v. preacher and a politician.

  4. ekaton

    Ditzy battiness would describe her even better.
    And better yet, loopy ditzy battiness.
    I saw her appearance in front of her airplane on one of the news channels. She is more incoherent than George Bush. I guess that’s what the Republicans go for these days. (The democrats idolize an elegant speaker while ignoring his actions.)

    Kent Shaw

  5. Hal Brown

     I was just going to leave this on reader rant but then read how her Facebook entry references a "higher calling".

    What "higher calling" in her frame of reference would there be than this?

    if she really wants to have a huge impact, be in the glare of the klieg lights, on television every week, be literally worshiped… she can start a mega-church and be a televangelist. She could broadcast from a shrine to herself. She could make Joel Olsteen look like nobody. Don’t know who he is? I admit didn’t. We need to keep up on these things. He’s pastor of a non-denominational Christian megachurch located in Houston, Texas, USA. It is the largest church in the USA, averaging more than 43,000 in attendance per week. Lakewood now occupies the 16,000-seat arena previously home to the Houston Rockets.

    (Wikipedia) The TV broadcasts are seen in 100 countries. Read this article from 2005 HERE

     
  6. Hal Brown

     Please boys and girls, let’s not get carried away with the insults.

    I was hoping that just about my favorite professional columnist Maureen Dowd, who had until today to write her New York Times OpEd, would do a masterful job on Sarah Palin.

    >

    Sarah Palin showed on Friday that in one respect at least, she is qualified to be president.

    Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.

    Usually we don’t find that exquisite battiness in our leaders until they’ve been battered by sordid scandals like Watergate (Nixon), gnawing problems like Vietnam (L.B.J.), or scary threats like biological terrorism (Cheney).

     

    READ: Now, Sarah’s Folly

    She’s often taken on the same topic as me and made my piece look like lame in comparison. I do like her using the word battiness though. Ditzy battiness would describe her even better.

    But considering mine was written and updated online while she was giving her Queen of Hearts (as in Alice’s Wonderland) pronouncement in all modesty I think I did pretty well in my little who can be the most snarky and clever competition with Maureen.

  7. Nogood

    How can we best describe this nation if this stupid (word deleted by HB) is elected the office of President or for that matter if she is elected to any national office and the answer is that we are dumber than she is.

  8. Warren

    4th of July spirit: A Tupperware bowl of soft-set Cherry Jello with mini marshmallows topped with Cool Whip.

    —W—

  9. bryan mcclellan

    Two toes short of a three toed sloth,
    and twice as irrelevant as a self licking ice cream cone.

  10. Warren

    We need a contest. “Sarah Palin is dumber than ______ .” So far in this thread we have:
    ‘a box of rocks’
    ‘a pail of hammers’
    ‘dirt’
    A brief Google adds:
    ‘Bush’
    ‘a NASCAR driver’
    ‘a pillar box’
    ‘bag of hammers’
    ‘dumb’

    The list goes on. Any good additions? Or is this too off-topic? Heck, it’s fun.

    —W—

  11. John1172002

    I understand that she has a college degree. If so, this is a sad comment on Americas’ loss of standing in the world today. I knew that Africa was a continent by the time I was eight. She has proven that she is NOT smarter than a fifth grader. A truly sad commentary about our school system. Or would she spell it “skool sistim”?
    My Lord, she is dumb as a box of rocks! If this, and Jindal, are the best the Republicans can come up with, God help us all if a Republican ever gets into office!

    BTW, the NY Senate is still split 31-31 as I write this, and their buffoonery has cost the NY taxpayer over 5 million dollars. I can only pray that the voters remember this childish behavior at the next election.

  12. JudyB

    The strange thing about all of this is…though this woman is dumber than dirt, not even one of you have mentioned the fact that she COULD be resigning to get herself “edjahkated”.
    Could this be due to the fact that we are all cynics?..No, the truth is that we are all smart enough to know that she’s either running FROM something or FOR something.

  13. Warren

    Self interest. It may come down to how much jail time does she want to serve. The rumors of building materials for the sports complex falling off the truck at Palin’s new house are very persistent. If it’s true that indictments are on the way, the lynch mob will be a good deal smaller and quieter if she isn’t governor at the time.

    —W—

  14. AustinRanter

    Hal…Bryan…as we know, Alaska is a stronghold for the Conservative (and a sort of religous right) base.

    As the old saying goes, “Birds of a Feather Flock Together”. We might well consider Palin to be a “boob”, but remember, Alaska has a relavtively small population…who could all have “boob” mentality.

    So the Alaskan voters may well see her plot in progress and support and endorse it if she makes a political move to go to Washington.

    There are a lot of people in Alaska who believe Stevens was railroaded.

    Hal, I agree, if Palin couldn’t make the cut to get in the Senate or House, it would be an uphill struggle to do any kind of comeback, but she is so ego-centric that I believe she’d take such a chance.

  15. Hal Brown

     She could run for U.S. Senate but if she lost she’d be finished politically. She’d be running in a state where she’d be accused of walking away from completing her commitment to the state to be their governor for a full term. There would be no reason why she couldn’t stay on as governor, do a good job, and position herself for an easy win if she ran for senator.

    If she ran for Senate and won in 2010 she’d have to do a good job there as a freshman senator, one of a hundred Senators, and you better believe she’d be under media scrutiny. Every misstep would be fodder for the Democrats and the the media.

    She’d also be watched carefully by Alaskans who would want to make sure she wasn’t shortchanging them as their senator.

    If she wants to run for president she has to figure out a way to become a national political figure. I can’t see how she can do it unless she spends most of her time in the lower 48 building political capital.

     

  16. bryan mcclellan

    It is doubtful Alaskans will ever send a boob of this magnitude to the Senate as they have to know they have been jilted at the alter of political expediency.

    You are right Austin in that as a private citizen or US Senator she could continue her crime wave without fear of any real retribution, and would enjoy the lack of scrutiny along with the other ilk in those storied chambers of corruption.

  17. AustinRanter

    Hal…we may be sniffing the scent of Palin on the wrong trail.

    What if Palin moves in the direction winning a Senate seat. If she could pull that off…she’s still young in the greater scheme of things and one term in the Senate could be just the leverage she needs to make a move on the following presidential run.

    It worked for Obama…

    Albeit her legal situation, and we’re not real clear on all of the issues and just what she’ll have to face in the near future…there’s a better chance of her going through a legal battle or battles with possibly a lesser hounding from the media. She’ll still be in the public eye…but maybe without any substantial damage she might accrue as governor.

    Dunno…just a thought.