Palin and Jindal: The best the Republicans can do?

As conservatives gather in Washington this weekend for their annual flogging of anything and everything that doesn’t conform to their myopic view of the world, they plan to cheer what the failing Republican Party calls its "rising stars:" Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal.

If these two whack jobs represent the future of the Republican Party, it is a party without a future.

When I worked inside the Republican Party I conveniently looked the other way when it came to the GOP’s intolerance, bigotry and stupidity. I made a lot of money from the GOP and a lavish lifestyle, plus copious amounts of single malt scotch, allowed me to sell my soul — for a while.

But sobriety and overdue soul searching gave me the strength to leave the party of hate and return to journalism which may also be a dirty business but seems outright sanitary when compared to the sewer of GOP politics.

In the 2008 Presidential election, Republicans again proved themselves out of touch by putting John McCain at the top of the ticket. When McCain compounded that stupidity by picking Palin as his running mate, the GOP faithful proved they had lost it by flocking to her like rapid dogs in heat and proclaiming her the salvation of the legacy of Ronald Reagan.

About the only thing Palin represents is the inane nature of politics. The sad fact that anyone took this brain-dead twit seriously is an indicator of just how far the GOP has fallen.

Now, as Palin becomes more and more of a background whine, we get Jindal — the Alfred E. Neuman of politics. Neuman, the icon of Mad Magazine, would say: "What? Me worry?"  The mantra of today’s GOP is more like: "What? We think?"

Republican leaders, who must be inhaling, selected Jindal to present the GOP response to President Obama’s speech to a joint session of Congress this week. His bumbling, laughable performance — sprinkled with outright lies — made Palin’s bungled interview with Katie Couric seem like a high point in media manipulation.

Palin is an idiot. Jindal is a caricature. By pinning their hopes for the future on these two, the GOP is suicidal.

To make matters worse, some in the GOP consider Palin not only the future of the party but also their "sex symbol."

Sex symbol? God help us. To paraphrase the late comedian George Carlin, I wouldn’t have sex with her with a stolen penis.


  1. AustinRanter

    You’re welcome, Carl…

    That’s a really old one. My grandfather use to love to tell that joke. I never got tired of hearing it.

  2. Carl Nemo

    Yo AustinRanter…

    Thanks for the joke…:)) I needed that today along with a stiff drink or two…

    Carl Nemo **==

  3. AustinRanter

    Sorry for getting off Topic, But:

    Gosh…maybe we could summon Bobby Kennedy back from the dead and ask him.

    Jerry, this name thing reminds me of a joke.

    A guy goes before a judge and says that he wants to change his name.

    The judge asked, “well, what’s your full name.”

    The guy says, “Bob Poot”.

    The judge grins and says, “yeah, I can understand why you would want to change that name…boy O boy. Son, what do you want to change it to?”

    The guy says, “Bill Poot”.

  4. JerryG

    Bobby??? Jindal!

    This guy’s embarrassed to even use his real first name – Piyush! I wonder why Pres. Obama never adopted the name “Jimmy” or “Charlie” in lieu of Barack.

  5. Bix12

    Greed can cause one to do the most heinous things…but I’m glad to hear you escaped the dark side, Doug.

    Your article successfully pointed out 2 of the GOP’s rising “stars”…but let’s not forget the other whack jobs on the scene:

    Michael “Freak Dawg” Steele, recruiter of all at-large Republican one-armed hip-hop midgets.

    Michelle “You Be Da Man” Bachman, whose public utterences have mined unheard of new depths in the foot-in-mouth disease department.

    Joe “My Name’s Not Joe, I’m Not A Plumber, But I Am A Tax Cheat” the Plumber, who is now advocating shooting all those imaginary, non-existent people out there who are bad-mouthing our armed service members.

    These folks are on the vanguard of the modern day Republican party–these are the bold, new faces that the GOP sorely deserves.

    Life is good.

  6. NotoriousJP


    I am sure that with copious amounts of single malt scotch, her looks would improve. Bourbon will also work well. As you know, alcohol is a proven, cost-effective alternative to makeup and/or plastic surgery, for short periods of time, anyway. And by making you dumber, if only termporarily, alcohol would make her seem smarter. Perhaps the Republicans are both drunk and stupid if they want her to run for President.

  7. barak

    Don’t sell the CC part of the Republican party short. They are a very determined group of maniacal fanatics and are, in their own way, as dangerous to America as the Islamic Terrorists.

    Remember the saying: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

  8. Cashel Boylo

    Jindal has three kids, Palin has five.
    Exceptional amongst Christian Rightist Right to Lifer Republicans.
    Most have only one or two — if any.
    How do people who don’t use ABORTION or CONTRACEPTION manage not to have children by the dozen?
    Closet Homosexuality?
    Cashel Boylo