The GOP’s secret plan to save its future

America’s 19% party has a problem. Actually, it has several problems. Just when it should be celebrating the 200 yr birthday of its most popular leader, the man who put the GOP on the map, today’s GOP split its time attacking a popular president on one hand, and demanding top level income tax, capital gains tax, and corporate tax cuts on the other. 

Abraham Lincoln would not be proud. When he took the fledgling GOP into the White House, a possible civil war had been a topic of serious conversation for 20 years. One state had already seceded, and other southern states were making threats. Lincoln took a nation that was collapsing and through personal strength, leadership, toil, sweat and many tears, he brought the country back together. In the process, he issued his Emancipation Proclamation, he eradicated the biggest stain on America’s great experiment  (slavery), he promised democracy for all (although suffrage would take a bit longer) and he set the stage for 140 years of growth, uneven, unequal growth, to be sure, but still growth. 

What happened to the Abraham’s grand old party? The party of vision, of dreams, of hard work, of patriotism, fairness, and of empathy for all? Which party created national parks? Which party created the EPA? Which party created SALT agreements with the USSR? Which party passed anti-slavery legislation?

Since the Neocons hijacked it in the late 1980s, that grand GOP has been pretty much eradicated. Just look at those who purport to be its psychological leaders and idea makers. 

Rush Limbaugh. "I want him (Obama) to fail. I want his plan to fail. I want him to fail badly."  Translation from rushspeak:  If Obama succeeds, people will finally realize that the bull I’ve been spinning for a decade was all false. I’m in trouble." 

Newt Gingrich: I favor tax cuts and the outright elimination of taxes. Barack Obama has already hit the wall. His nominees have failed, and his economic stimulus package won’t work. "Could have been a bi-partisan bill. Could have been a real effort to help the economy. Frankly, the left wing of their party took it over and decided to make it a big spending and big government bill."

Funny. If you checked Newt’s words from 1993 and compared them to today’s, you would be hard pressed to find any difference. 

OK, Newt, let’s look at tax cuts. Capital Gains Tax Cuts? Are you shitting me? On October 1, 2007, based in very large part on Wall Street’s derivatives frauds, the Dow hit 14,087.55.

Friday, the 13th? Not so much. Try 7850.41. 

Newt, can you and your other village idiots please explain how a Capital Gains tax will help anyone, WHEN THERE AREN’T ANY CAPITAL GAINS? 

What about Corporate taxes?.  Some Corporate taxes are based on corporate net income. Some call it profit. Others are based on payroll. Some call that a payroll tax. HOW CAN YOU CUT CORPORATE TAXES when there are no profits and when payrolls are being slashed at every turn? 

Income taxes? Oh, good one, Newt. Go ahead and cut the income taxes on the millions who lost their jobs in the last six months. I am sure that they will be grateful. 

That leaves us with the three remaining (ahem) leaders of the party. 

Eric Cantor, Mike Steele, and Sarah Palin. 

Sarah Palin (Idiot- Alaska) What is so fascinating about Ms. Palin is how she gives "oblivious" a bad name. Chutzpah and reading from a tele-prompter do not a leader make. Even with a short skirt. Given the choice of watching a fully loaded ammo train, carrying 1,000 new born infants, go off a mountain bridge and blow up, or watching Sarah adlib in front of a camera, even I admit it would be a hard choice. 

Poor Mr. Steele (RNC). What a fitting name, now that there is a federal investigation of how he used campaign funds as a slush fund to aid family members. No wonder the GOP is unconcerned about the RNC Chair’s legal problems. His crimes are microscopic compared to what the GOP did in Iraq and DC. You know how those fancy CF bulbs save electricity by using much less energy? Steele saves energy simply because he is a dim bulb. Of course, you would have to be, if you thought that being in charge of a failing, flailing regional party would be fun. 

Eirc Cantor (Va-R). Now, here’s a piece of work. In February 2007, AFTER his party lost and lost big, he was still pushing for a preemptive war against Iran. His AIPAC puppet masters demanded nothing less.  If you don’t recall the time, we had two huge carrier groups running exercises right up against Iran’s border, 24 hours a day. Dick Cheney was pulling for preemptive attacks within the White House. Cantor was carrying his water in the House. Tell us straight, Mr. Cantor, are we better off by following your AIPAC masters’ demand for Iranian war, or are we better off talking to them? No, please, take your time. 

Eric’s current spin? Newt’s Tax Cuts are our God, and, We Are the Party of No. Now there’s a path to guaranteed success, Eric. What a plan! Even better, his idea of compromise still is "WE win, you lose," regardless of the issue. Eric, where were you when your president and your majority party ran up trillions in debt, when you took the Trillion in Iraqnam costs off the books, and you ignored your congressional duties on so many critical issues? No, Please. take all the time you need. 

OK, so there’s not much to work with. A party with no real  leaders, no real  ideas, (except bad ones that have repeatedly failed badly), a party without a clue, relying on idiots that Hollywood would never hire because even actors aren’t that brain dead. It is now a regional party, hemorrhaging support faster than Bernie Madoff lost assets. Except for a few empty western states, its power is concentrated in the religious, ultra-conservative, deep south. Now, there’s a plan for growth. If you like anthrax and mold spores, that is. 

Even in the deep south, GOP governors took one look at the national GOP and retched. It was an easy choice for them. Either they support the National GOP and see their own states collapse, or they support America’s president, and hope that they can squeak through this economic mess. Florida’s Gov. Crist already made his choice. And pissed off the GOP something fierce, while getting glowing reviews from all Floridians. You’d think that the GOP brain trust would see the result and react. You’d be wrong. 

That leaves the GOP with only one possible choice. I call it the Blackwater solution. The GOP made the mistake of pushing out all moderates, destroying any ability to reach across political, social, racial, and even religious differences, and trying to compromise. They applied their ideas, and being bad ideas, the more they applied them, the worse the result. More of the same will simply make things that much worse. So, following Blackwater’s lead, the GOP will be changing its name.

(Disclaimer: The RNC tried to save money by using Blackwater’s ad agency for their new Brand and logo. The elephant will be replaced with a hippo-critter, and their new motto will be "There is no Tax that we can’t cut!" The name of the new and improved GOP?  "ZE!" )


  1. Ardie

    “What happened to the Abraham’s grand old party? The party of vision, of dreams, of hard work, of patriotism, fairness, and of empathy for all? Which party created national parks? Which party created the EPA? Which party created SALT agreements with the USSR? Which party passed anti-slavery legislation?


    If I read my history correctly, Abe’s grand old party was made up of Whigs and anti-slavery Democrats. In every since of the term, “modern” this party was way ahead of the Democrats of that time.

    But, obviously, the Republican Party today is no where close to the party of Lincoln, i.e., a government for the people. It is fast becoming the party of Jefferson Finis Davis who was President of the Confederate States of America. Everything present day Repubicans stand for sounds like an updated version of CSA policies which championed, above all, a rebirth of feudalism.

  2. AustinRanter

    Ardy, wouldn’t you agree that both of parties have morphed into something totally unrecognizable from the days when both these parties weren’t so completely influenced by such massive corporate wealth?

  3. AustinRanter

    Rob, my morning had been a bit dismal, but after reading your article I feel more secure and a renewed sense of shining hope.

    There’s nothing like the smell of roasted politicians in the morning. It smells like victory, victory for the people.

    Good work!

  4. Carl Nemo

    Thanks Rob Kezelis for the nicely written, spot-on commentary. : )

    It’s my hope that some of the editorials written by CHB’s contributing top writers like yourself are either read directly or passed on to these aforementioned “rethug” mattoids, so they can know how reviled they’ve become to informed citizens.

    Based on their continued fumbling it seems they simply don’t get the message that their party has become the “Nuisance Party”, one that simply deserves the ashbin of history.

    Carl Nemo **==

  5. AustinRanter

    I personally can’t wait for the next episode of, “Who’s Screwing Who?”, when the bailing out of the auto industry begins by the Obama Administration who is wanting to invest $25 Billion into some kind of committee who sits around thinking about how to save our auto industry, which it is affirmed that this committee will include the same numb-nuts morons who drove these companies to collapse and who will be allowed to maintain their jobs as chief executives over these companies. Why?

    If Obama doesn’t want to look back, to investigate Bush and his band of merry criminals…then will he have the guts deal with the present and seek justice for the massive fleecing of not only American citizens, but people from around the world?

    I know that laws in place protect so many of these amoral pieces of dung, but at the very least, they need to be removed from these high positions of power and wealth.

    Can these slams of totally madness finally be the straw that breaks We The People’s backs and we finally stop being reactive and start being proactive?

  6. DejaVuAllOver

    You got a way with words, Rob. You also got a way with FACTS. This is what separates you from GOP Neocon slimeballs, like the cast of crooks you so eloquently demolish. Nice work.

  7. DejaVuAllOver

    Speaking of Eric Cantor’s almost-WWIII with Iran, I think we all owe the CIA an inestimable debt of gratitude for almost single-handedly shooting down the zionists’ (then) most recent war plans. When they came out with their NIE saying that Iran was NOT a nuclear threat nor likely to be for some time, I can still recall the collective hysteria emanating from the GOP and our zionist press. If there were ANY bright spots during the Bush years, that was one. Although, it’s a measure of the raw depravity of the neocons to think of non-annihilation as a positive!

  8. spartacus

    Actually, one can argue that the downfall of the Republican party began long before the end of the last century, when they became the party of Big Business, i.e., McKinley, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, etc., and lost its soul they gave the reigns of the chariot to the religious right so they could win elections. A party without a heart nor a soul has no ideas: that is the Republican party of today.

    Anyone who missed Rachel Maddow’s show last night might want to note that Eric Cantor’s website features Aerosmith’s “Back in the Saddle” as the background tune, which is hilarious, given Mr. Holier than Thou’s attitudes about the Janet Jackson wardrobe problem at the Superbowl a few years back, as well as his usual GOP hippocritical religious rantings and Aerosmith’s song is about a guy visiting a hooker. Mr. Cantor obviously thinks his audience is too stupid to know that (they probably are), but it also shows his arrogance and absolute idiocy. He gives Virginia a bad name.

  9. AustinRanter

    Spartacus…Cantor isn’t HIP enough to know that he’s not. He’s a wanna be hip-slick-cool person. I agree with your assessment, he is glowing with conceit and arrogance, but now so much so that I believe that even the media really hates it when he feels the need to spout his wisdom and coolness to all of us little people.

    Like so many folks like Tom Delay, Newt and other historical wacknuts in the GOP who have tried to pull the wildest nonsense as well. This guy is claiming to have the diplomatic characteristics of Winston Churchill. Oh, brother…there much be a wacknut factory hidden in Thialand.

    I think that using B.B. King and his song, “The Thrill Is Gone” is much more appropriate.

  10. almandine

    Well Rob, you hit the nail on the head.

    I think it’s time, however, that you turn your hammer in the other direction and swing a few blows. None of this is a partisan deal… yep, Republicans have their flaws, but if you or especially those in power think our turn toward Socialism is the answer, then God help us all.

    My bet is that if we SERIOUSLY head down that road more than the Messiah has codified to date, it won’t be 2 years before there is violence in the streets. It may not take that long.

  11. Rob Kezelis

     When reids bend in the slightest breeze, they certainly bring attention to themselves. But pols alone are not the problem. 

    Corporations have had the benefit of being (incorrectly) treated as individuals, with all the rights, opportunities, but little of the responsibilities. The US Supreme Court’s clerical error has created today’s multinational monsters.  Corps have a lot to answer for, too. They have, to some degree transcended governments, and direct policy to their own benefit. once that happens, the citizen’s ability to be represented by his/her governmental rep, be it a senatwhore, congresscritter, mayor, governor, councilman, or aldercritter, suddenly becomes lessened. That tie between the people and their government has been breached. We need a mini-revolution to repair that. 

    Unfortunately, as you suggest, today’s democrats are not capable of even suggesting a solution, much less applying it appropriately. 

  12. Bix12

    What’s finally become crystal clear to most Americans is the fact that the Republican party hates everything America stands for.

    Republicans depise the working class–they despise the mere thought of the little guy getting an even break–they loathe anything even resembling ordinary, everyday decency & virtue. They cringe at the very thought of fair play.

    They are the party of liars, thieves, bullies & hate-mongers, and come 2010, they are the party of the vanquished.

  13. sherry

    “They are the party of liars, thieves, bullies & hate-mongers, and come 2010, they are the party of the vanquished.” writes Bix12

    Let’s see what happens in the mid terms. Many Americans now realize neither party has the interests of America at heart. Perhaps in the coming months, you will as well.

    Obama, the man of change is appearing more and more to be more of the same. He ran against status quo, yet he was endorsed by and won by status quo.

    Remember that Democrats have been the majority for the last two years. Congressional approval ratings have managed to be even lower than Bush.

    Fully 50% of Americans have no confidence in this new stimulus package.

    Time will tell my friends. Time will tell.

  14. almandine

    “the Republican party hates everything America stands for.”

    Just wondering what that would be…

  15. AustinRanter

    It wouldn’t hurt if the Democrats jumped in with their secret plan. As I recall during the election the secret plan was called, “Change We Can Believe In”.

    I mean…just jump in anytime Democrats. That might well stave off any secret plan by Republicans.

  16. Bix12

    I don’t understand your reference “endorsed by and won by status quo”. Exactly who are you refering to….specifically. I endorsed him, as well as thousands of folk just like me, and we are certainly not of the status quo.

    As I remember the campaign, the change Obama wanted was a change in the way things are done in Washington–which is something he has pursued with vigor since taking office. It is the Republicans that have continuously thrown a monkey wrench in Obama’s attempts at bringing that change about. I cannot, in good conscience, blame President Obama for their (the Republican’s) treasonous attempts at sabotaging anything & everything he tries to do.

    As far as the Dem’s being a majority for the last 2 years–true enough, but you forget (conveniently?) that Bush, who for 6 years didn’t use his veto once, veto’d everything that crossed his desk those last 2 years…in other words, just more dirty, rotten, back-stabbing, completely Un & Anti-American scumbag politikin’ coming from the Rep. party, as usual.

    Your stats. are also wrong–fully 50% have no confidence in the stim. bill? Maybe that’s true in your world, but it isn’t in mine…the real one.

    President Obama has been in office 30 days. Thanks to Bush & Co., he has inherited the biggest mess this country has seen in 80 years–there seems to be no end to the crisis’ he’s trying to deal with…he’s faced with a situation that is truly staggering, yet people like you offer no quarter–you just go for the jugular–and for things he has no power to do anything about! He has tried, and will continue to try to fix this mess. The only thing the Republicans are trying is to continue with their destruction of this country.

    You should really re-think your position & your motivation…and open your eyes to what is actually going on here.

  17. sherry

    BHO was endorsed by the status quo. That would be Kennedy, Kerry, et al. They do not represent change. They have been in Washington for decades. Obama is appointing the same people who served in the Clinton administration.

    Your blaming the lack of change when democrats were in control on Bush? Where was the leadership? Where is it now? The stimulus package includes Pelosi’s 30 million dollar mouse habitat. Sounds like more of the same to me. I thought this was supposed to be the end of “pork”.

    As for my stats on the 50%. It was on one of the talking head shows, coming from BSNBC I believe. It came from Pew Research

    My motivation is to help educate people like yourself who really, honestly believe it is all the GOP’s fault.

    It is the intoxicating power which corrupts. Not party. I don’t give anyone a free pass. I am not their party. Nor are they mine. I am an American who wants what’s best for America. I don’t cut any of them any slack. They work for me, not the other way around. I don’t fall in love and a I sure as hell don’t fall in line.

  18. Bix12

    Although I may not be totally satisfied with some of President Obama’s cabinet picks, that doesn’t detract from the fact that he is actually trying to fulfill his campaign platform. I realize it is not nearly a perfect world–especially in Washington, and I also realized a long time ago that power corrupts.

    Now, knowing that is not going to cause me to shoot myself in the foot by working against what could be the very best chance this country has had in a very long time to finally start getting things right. And I’m wise enough to know that not everything is going to flow smoothly, but I’m also wise enough to know that the potential is there for things to get a whole lot better than they have been for a long, long time.

    Is there some pork in the bill? Hell, yes! But I’d rather spend 30 mil. for Pelosi’s habitat than 400 BILLION on tax cuts that have been proven not to work! A little difference in dollars there, and btw, those tax cuts (surprise!) belong to the Republicans.

    A person has to have enough sense to know when, and which fights, they choose to fight, and when it’s time to put aside impotent, un-productive rage for the common good, if the desire for what’s best for America is sincere…in a “real world” sense.

    You are right that not everything is the Republican’s fault…but at least 75% (I’m being generous) of this countries problems definitely come from their corner, and that’s a fact! I suppose I could lay back and cast blame on the entire system, giving both sides equal amounts of blame, and making no difference, but I prefer to try to make a real difference by working with the most promising commander-in-chief we’ve elected in my time…imperfect as he might be.

  19. sherry

    Republicans are the ban of Bix’ life. Democrats are semi holy. To hold them accountable now would risk the “hope”.

  20. almandine

    Yeah, I know…

    ideology is tough to defend if all you can do is throw rocks.

    I discounted his shtick sometime back.

  21. Bix12

    The “ban” of my life? Surely your Brilliance meant bane?

    Tell ya what, Sherry, dear–you continue to “educate” those willing to listen all about how wonderful it is living a life being loved by no one & loving no one, and how far a person can get by refusing to “fall in line” anywhere, anytime, with anyone…afterall, you seem to have it all figured out.

    You live your sad, hate-filled life, and I’ll keep hope alive in mine–fair enough?

  22. sherry

    Blix when all else fails, get personal. I was referring to not falling in love or in line with political parties. This has nothing to do with my personal life, which was not and is not being discussed.
    As noted above, when nothing else works, throw rocks.

  23. Bix12

    Meanwhile, it’s okay for you to make your bitchy little snarks to your cyber-pal? You & I were having a discussion, but you crossed the personal line…not I.

    Although those types of attacks are typical of your sex, they are still extremely distasteful.

    Happy “educatin'”, Sherry.

  24. AustinRanter

    Too-Frinkin-Shay, Rob…You’re singing my song.

    We witness on a daily basis that we now have Corp-Congress that, over time, has exponentially displayed acts of allegiance to major corporations over the citizens. It’s way so obvious corporation who partners with Congress are the biggest recipients of the “trillions, not billions” from these bailouts and stimulus packages.

    I’m not a violent man. I don’t believe that it would take a violent act on the part of We The People to resolve our political and government woes. However, we all do have to take immediate, sustainable, national electorate action to kick the skids out from under this self-will-run-riot government. It will indeed be a process and not an event.

    But, we can do it over the next three major elections. We have to send a clear message that elected officals (and buearucrat heads) are to abide by the Constitution, and the will of We The People. We need to clean out these long standing incumbents who have escalated their power to the point that they no longer feel any sense of responsibility and accountability to the people.

    We need to DEMAND Congress to back four corruption-fighting reforms:

    1. Stop contributions from lobbyists or political action committees,

    2. End earmarks,

    3. Increasing congressional transparency,

    4. Support public financing of congressional campaigns.

    These aren’t unreasonable demands.