OK, your top fund raiser is indicted and singing like a sexy Blues diva from Southside Chicago. Your own daddy-in-law claimed, repeatedly and in public, that you were selling offices for $40K contributions to your campaign. (Richard Mell, a long-time Chicago Pol, not only criticized Bloggo’s technique, but his brazen, open, overt, corrupt scheming, as well as how Bloggo targeted Mell’s own investments and business dealings in retribution) Others in your administration were indicted and talking. Your former top aide was squealing like a pig to the Feds. One witness EVEN TOLD THE TRIBUNE that you were being bugged in every conversation and phone call.

And still you continue to act like a greedy republican, working on selling Barack Obama’s former senate seat for personal gain?

This begs one, and only one question: ARE YOU NUTS?

Bloggo targeted the Chicago Tribune and threatened (and probably did) screw up the Trib’s efforts to sell the Chicago Cubs Beisbol team. He called Obama a motherfucker, mainly because Obama was too clean, and would not play the game. He said that because he had the sole power to pick the new senator from Illinois, he was going to enrich himself.

US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, of Scooter Libby fame, described what Bloggo was doing as a “crime spree.” It’s fucking golden? (his right to choose Obama’s replacement) I’m not giving it up for fucking nothing?

For those not suffering from any close association with Illinois or our peculiar brand of politics, here are a few primers:

a) We’ve indicted or convicted 5 out of the last eight governors, from both parties. Political prosecutions are as popular as some of our sports teams, and at times, it is hard to tell if there is any difference.

b) Bloggo’s popularity rating was around 13%, or somewhat higher than Satan, the Devil, Beezlebub, Sarah Palin, cat allergies, a lack of toilet paper while you have the flu, anthrax infections, STDs, or seeing your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend start sleeping with your best friend. Or son. Or father. Or brother.

c) Eventually, Bloggo was going to be indicted on other, extremely serious charges, namely, his truly offensive Pay to Play schemes, where he sold high ranking state offices for at least $40k in contributions to Bloggo’s presidential campaign, or his governor’s fund. The problem was that those crimes involved a standard Fitz move – slow, steady, bottom to top investigation, grabbing little fish to get larger fish above. With this senate seat opportunity, Bloggo was SO FUCKING brazen and greedy, (with his wife fully informed & involved), that he could have created major problems in our federal system, potentially, even worse than what Cheney and Bush have been doing for 8 yrs. For Fitz to move so quickly, ie in weeks, not years, means that the crimes that Bloggo was about to commit some pretty damned serious crimes.

d) You may be tempted to ask WHY Illinois continued to elect a criminal like Bloggo. Ahhh. There is an answer. Just remember what Illinois’ GOP is like. Brain-dead. Offensive, Ultra-conservative and ultra-religious, and the kind of folks that think a christian crusader like Alan Keyes was worthy of a senate seat. In simple terms, Ill-in-noise-ians already suspected the worst about Bloggo, when he was re-elected. The problem was that the GOP choices were actually worse.
(Sorry, Judy, but you know in your heart that was true. The deals you signed with the morons in your party were the killer)

If you asked any Chicagoan on the street if they were surprised that Bloggo was just indicted, 80% would say “great!”, “that’s no surprise”, “what the hell took them so long?” or “Bloggo who?” However, everyone is surprised by the speed with which Fitz brought these charges, and even more surprised how brazen and recent his actions were. Seriously, we (well, 87% of us) all have been anxiously waiting for Fitz to indict him for his actions dating back to 2003, not to one week ago. Still, US Attorney Fitzgerald, the citizens of Illinois thank you.

(here is a link to the entire indictment. Makes for GREAT reading:
Just search in the center of the page, you’ll find it)

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