Gov. Blagojevich and other Crime Sprees

OK, your top fund raiser is indicted and singing like a sexy Blues diva from Southside Chicago. Your own daddy-in-law claimed, repeatedly and in public, that you were selling offices for $40K contributions to your campaign. (Richard Mell, a long-time Chicago Pol, not only criticized Bloggo’s technique, but his brazen, open, overt, corrupt scheming, as well as how Bloggo targeted Mell’s own investments and business dealings in retribution) Others in your administration were indicted and talking. Your former top aide was squealing like a pig to the Feds. One witness EVEN TOLD THE TRIBUNE that you were being bugged in every conversation and phone call.

And still you continue to act like a greedy republican, working on selling Barack Obama’s former senate seat for personal gain?

This begs one, and only one question: ARE YOU NUTS?

Bloggo targeted the Chicago Tribune and threatened (and probably did) screw up the Trib’s efforts to sell the Chicago Cubs Beisbol team. He called Obama a motherfucker, mainly because Obama was too clean, and would not play the game. He said that because he had the sole power to pick the new senator from Illinois, he was going to enrich himself.

US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, of Scooter Libby fame, described what Bloggo was doing as a “crime spree.” It’s fucking golden? (his right to choose Obama’s replacement) I’m not giving it up for fucking nothing?

For those not suffering from any close association with Illinois or our peculiar brand of politics, here are a few primers:

a) We’ve indicted or convicted 5 out of the last eight governors, from both parties. Political prosecutions are as popular as some of our sports teams, and at times, it is hard to tell if there is any difference.

b) Bloggo’s popularity rating was around 13%, or somewhat higher than Satan, the Devil, Beezlebub, Sarah Palin, cat allergies, a lack of toilet paper while you have the flu, anthrax infections, STDs, or seeing your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend start sleeping with your best friend. Or son. Or father. Or brother.

c) Eventually, Bloggo was going to be indicted on other, extremely serious charges, namely, his truly offensive Pay to Play schemes, where he sold high ranking state offices for at least $40k in contributions to Bloggo’s presidential campaign, or his governor’s fund. The problem was that those crimes involved a standard Fitz move – slow, steady, bottom to top investigation, grabbing little fish to get larger fish above. With this senate seat opportunity, Bloggo was SO FUCKING brazen and greedy, (with his wife fully informed & involved), that he could have created major problems in our federal system, potentially, even worse than what Cheney and Bush have been doing for 8 yrs. For Fitz to move so quickly, ie in weeks, not years, means that the crimes that Bloggo was about to commit some pretty damned serious crimes.

d) You may be tempted to ask WHY Illinois continued to elect a criminal like Bloggo. Ahhh. There is an answer. Just remember what Illinois’ GOP is like. Brain-dead. Offensive, Ultra-conservative and ultra-religious, and the kind of folks that think a christian crusader like Alan Keyes was worthy of a senate seat. In simple terms, Ill-in-noise-ians already suspected the worst about Bloggo, when he was re-elected. The problem was that the GOP choices were actually worse.
(Sorry, Judy, but you know in your heart that was true. The deals you signed with the morons in your party were the killer)

If you asked any Chicagoan on the street if they were surprised that Bloggo was just indicted, 80% would say “great!”, “that’s no surprise”, “what the hell took them so long?” or “Bloggo who?” However, everyone is surprised by the speed with which Fitz brought these charges, and even more surprised how brazen and recent his actions were. Seriously, we (well, 87% of us) all have been anxiously waiting for Fitz to indict him for his actions dating back to 2003, not to one week ago. Still, US Attorney Fitzgerald, the citizens of Illinois thank you.

(here is a link to the entire indictment. Makes for GREAT reading:
Just search in the center of the page, you’ll find it)


  1. Hal Brown

    Professional opinion as a shrink on “This begs one, and only one question: ARE YOU NUTS?”

    I wonder about drug and/or alcohol dependency with or without a severe personality disorder – this goes far beyond Elliot Spitzer.

  2. CheckerboardStrangler

    Extreme hubris.
    If there was a Spanish word for hubris (and there probably is)
    of this magnitude it would probably sound something like


    and it would bring to mind corrupt Banana Republic dictators
    wearing mirrored shades, peaked hats and uniforms festooned with thousands of medals and honorific ribbons, ropes and medallions.

    Only this was merely a state governor, and from a state well known for its corruption.

    Blaggo was probably the last to expect to be caught, and he’ll probably utter statements that seethe with the kind of wanton and brazen confidence that makes one think of a post-capture Saddam.

    Except that he’s an American, one of many who still just don’t get it.

    Jeff H in TX

  3. Rob Kezelis

    Hubrisevich. Governor Hubrisevich. Snappy, catchy. And accurate.

    Personally, I think he’s delusional. Again for those who do not know the Illinois political cystern, Bloggo STILL has his presidential aspirations. Still has a presidential committee. Still has funding stashed away. For him to suggest that nothing but sunshine is hanging over him, means that he and his wife are hoping for a federal penitentiary situated in a sunny southern state, with lots of outdoor white color activity.

  4. pondering_it_all

    The “Presidential Campaign Fund” is not delusional: When he decides NOT to run for President, then he gets to keep all of those funds as personal income. So it is really just a useful bribe conduit, that keeps the giver and taker of the bribe out of trouble with the law. If he offered no quid pro quo, and observed the campaign contribution limits, then it would be perfectly legal.

  5. ckaye99

    Kezelis, do you think Mell is clean? Where do you think his daughter got her chops?

    I hated hearing Fitzgerald getting all self righteous about this shit, making Blago out to be Beelzebub the Baby Raper. I just hate that kind of demonizing by the prosecutor and wish they would just state the case and then shut the *uck up.

    Jesse Jackson Jr. turned his denial of involvement in the purchase of the vacant Obama seat into a self aggrandizement extravaganza – it was nauseating. That little *hit dropped a lot of particulars – all I can say is I hope it wasn’t all bulls*it and he can back it up when the prosecutor comes for him. I lost my respect for that little insect over the Peotone Airport Caper – oh, that and the beer distributorship. I’m sure Obama did not like mention of his name in Jackson’s statement. Heh heh. Jessie also mentioned Luis Gutierrez,a peer who a few days ago got a two page spread in I think the Trib for his questionable involvement in realty deals in his district.

    To an extent I think it is the nature of running for office – the man with the most cold cash wins and this opens the door for all sorts of problems. And then there is plain greed. There is so much money and property here in Chicago that the scandals tend to go big scale, but let me tell you I was out west in some tiny podunk towns this year and they had the same kind of problems, in smaller scale. Corruption is everywhere.

    Blago was way out of bounds, no doubt. We all wonder why he did not cool it, knowing HE WAS BEING INVESTIGATED! Sheesh!
    xtina in chicago

  6. Rob Kezelis

    xtina, being from chicago, you KNOW how entertaining local politics is. Far better than the bears defense, and much better fielding of bribes than the cubs’ infield. Mell is not exactly the prince of ethics, that’s for sure. I forget how long that stretch was, when we were indicting 1- 1.5 aldercritters a year, but it was at least a decade. Between Chicago’s Hired Truck fiasco, Stu Levine’s years of thieving, Northside Insurance, the many Tollway frauds, the Springfield hotel scam, the . . . never mind. To quote Austin Powers, politics in Illinois is Sucky Sucky. But even by our admittedly jaded standards, bent and warped by years of convictions, plea bargains, and indictments, Bloggo takes the cake. Could he REALLY be that stupid? Brazen? Delusional? a bit of all of the above?

  7. Hal Brown

    Senator Robert Kezelis, I like the sound of that. I personally will give you a clean bill of mental health.

    P.S. Meet you in Grant Park under the big Oak tree for the envelop.

  8. Rob Kezelis

    No, thank you, Hal. I would never belong to any group that would lower its standards enough to accept me as a member. But, as for the envelope, make it small, unmarked bills, please.