What Democrats should be thankful for.

Counting our blessings, things could be a lot worse than Obama having to counter John McCain’s rovian campaigning. For example, John Edwards could have won the nomination. Here’s some more “what ifs”.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert could be rapid rabid right wing Republicans.

Children whose Republican parents convince them that McCain is Santa Claus, albeit without a white beard and red suit, could vote.

McCain is Santa Claus.

Obama doesn’t shoot hoops as poorly as he bowls.

All of Hillary’s supporters could be have been secretly married to her in the town of Stepford, Connecticut.

Rupert Murdoch could have bought MSNBC and sent Keith Olbermann back to the sports desk – in Siberia.

Obama could be short and fat and look like another brown skinned leader, Jabba the Hutt.

McCain could be tall and slim and look like Jimmy Stewart’s Mr. Smith.

Hillary could have sent her superego into limbo as her husband did when she lost the nomination.

Bill could have actually said everything on his mind when asked if Obama was prepared to be president.

Michelle Obama could have said everything on her mind when she was recorded saying this was the first time she was proud of being an American.

She and Barack could have given each other the black power fist salute instead of the so-called “terrorist fist jab” when he won the nomination.


Readers are invited to post on any and all of the multiple subjects in this column. Here’s a chance to exercise your reticuloendothelial system and vent your spleen.

8 Responses to "What Democrats should be thankful for."

  1. Hal Brown  August 9, 2008 at 6:51 am

    Ken Doll in Heat – a good OpEd by Gail Collins.

  2. churlpat  August 8, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    No, no, Mr. Edwards, we were talking about an eLection! Why do so many men in such high-visibility positions do stupid stuff like this? It is certainly a power thing that those of us who are not of that persuasion can never understand.

    Second ponder: how many politicians are there out there doing this, but they just have not been caught? Yet.

    Churlpat — a plutarch by any name is still a plutarch

  3. ekaton  August 10, 2008 at 9:30 am

    “Second ponder: how many politicians are there out there doing this, but they just have not been caught? Yet.”

    This is just one of the reasons I keep saying that I think many members of Congress are being blackmailed int such things as funding for Iraq and passage of the Patriot Act, passage of the Authorization to Use Military Force which sidesteps the constitutionally mandated congressional declaration of war, and many other issues.

    — Kent Shaw

  4. Belle  August 9, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Churlpat…. why can’t we get the media to pay a bit of attention to the old man who came home from HIS war and found HIS wife in a bad accident that disfigured HER and he went and found a druggie to have an affair with and then filed for his marriage license BEFORE the divorce was even final.? Guess he saw all those big bucks flying away before he could get her under HIS name…He puts Bill Clinton to shame.. and HE thinks he is fit to be president? Give me a break !!! I do not condone what Edwards did for a minute, but then it really is none of my business.. I am not married to him.

    Second thought..Bill Clinton thinks his wife was disrespected by who??? Go look in the mirror Bill. Never understood why she stayed with him..no self respect on her side. Edwards is a man and men ( and women) do funny things to themselves. The fixin’ is between Edwards and his wife, not the media .Do wish they would come to their senses and leave the whole thing go away on the news. I am tired of it already. He was NOT chosen to be our candidate and all the supposes in the world will only fan fires… Let the talking heads get amnesia on this one.

  5. CheckerboardStrangler  August 9, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Was I not in the Reader Rant months ago saying that something about Edwards had me creeped out, and that he appeared to be as honest as an “oily used car salesman”.

    Now at least I know what it was that was creeping me out.

    Jeff H in Occupied TX

  6. Helen Rainier  August 10, 2008 at 12:11 am

    Hal,

    I think that in your second paragraph you meant to use the word “rabid” vice “rapid” with regard to Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert.

  7. Hal Brown  August 10, 2008 at 7:06 am

    rapidly rabid!

    Thanks Helen.

  8. Hal Brown  August 10, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Maureen Dowd, not to be outdone by her NYT colleague, writes “Keeping it Rielle” today, with a zinger for a closing:

    Back in 2002, Edwards sent me a Ken doll dressed in bathing trunks, Rio de Janeiro Ken, with a teasing note, because he didn’t like my reference to him as a Ken doll in a column.

    In retrospect, the comparison was not fair — to Ken.

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