John McCain pimps out his wife

Presumptive GOP Presidential nominee John McCain’s "go anywhere and do anything for votes" strategy reached its apex this week when he showed up at the annual Sturgis motorcycle rally in South Dakota and offered to pimp out his wife in a topless beauty pageant.

As a biker, I’m insulted that McCain brought politics to the nation’s largest, anything-goes, hell-raising bike rally.

As a husband who loves his spouse, I’m more insulted that he offered up his wife as a candidate for the Miss Buffalo Chip Contest.

You gotta wonder how suggesting your wife should be in a beauty contest where the winner struts around stage with her hooters hanging out is going to sit with the rabid religious right that McCain needs if he has any shot at winning the Presidential election in November.

According to ESPN:

Buffalo Chip has a reputation for that sort of thing. It holds a Miss Buffalo Chip contest every night, which is essentially a topless beauty pageant. And occasionally bottomless, too. During a drenching rain Wednesday night, the contest broke up into smaller groups and one woman wound up dancing naked on a bar top. Her boyfriend/husband saw her and angrily dragged her away as she struggled to put her pants back on and muttered something about how, "It’s only this one week a year."

Self-righteous evangelical ministers may lust after women and screw everything in sight but they do it behind closed doors. They don’t suggest their wives should compete with 19-year-old hard bodies in a nudie beauty pageant.

We’ve seen lots of evidence that McCain’s brain is fried: His inability to grasp elementary-level geography and his failure to remember who is or is not our enemy give us two glaring examples.

Cindy McCain has all the beauty that her millions can buy through cosmetic surgery and chemical injection but Sports Illustrated is not going to offer her a spot in the swimsuit issue and Hugh Hefner is not on the phone offering the centerfold in Playboy.

To make matters worse, she’s a Republican woman. As an old Washington axiom used to say:

Republican men always marry Republican women but they date Democratic girls first to have a little fun.

Let’s face it. The women of the GOP are not high on any red-blooded male’s fantasy list, even when under the influence of drugs.

So what was McCain thinking? His aides say he was just making a joke. As we have documented in this column before, McCain likes to make jokes about women, especially lesbians, as well as African-Americans, Hispanics and "gooks" (his favorite word for Asians).  He called his wife a "cunt," one of the most offensive words any man can direct towards a woman. He later tried to excuse his behavior by saying it had been a long day and he was tired.

Maybe he was tired Monday when he suggested his wife could be a contender for Miss Buffalo Chip: Which means he’s also too tired to be President of the United States.


  1. Warren

    There are alternatives. Why don’t we ever have any discussion about them? Are they automatically dismissed because their probability of winning is low? Doesn’t that make for self-fulfilling prophecy?

    -Warren (V65 Magna)

  2. CheckerboardStrangler

    Churlpat, nice anagram btw 🙂

    The reason the Sturgis Pimp Daddy incident is important, along with the garbled borders, along with the whole magilla is that all of them are indicators that we’re dealing with an A-1 Premium Grade Numbskull, possibly a bigger numbskull than the one we’re dealing with now.

    The Bush campaign got mileage out of saying that “Dubya is the kinda guy you’d like to have a beer with”.

    With McCain it’s becoming increasingly apparent that fifteen seconds after you belly up to the bar with the guy you might discover that he’s not only opened the twist top with a corkscrew, he’s trying to drink from the wrong end of the bottle.

    He’s not just waddling down the hall with a piece of toilet paper sticking to his shoe, he’s dragging most of the restroom apparatus with him.

    McCain doesn’t have all his marbles anymore, an unsettling idea if you’re counting on him as leader of the free world.

    He’s making wisecracks about checking the tire pressure while he wanders aimlessly down the information superhighway at 35 MPH with his left blinker on.

    I’m worried about HIS “tire pressure” because he’s headed for a blowout and he’s trying to take the rest of the country over the guardrail with him!

    Jeff H in Occupied TX

  3. churlpat

    Mr. Shaw:

    Tht rattling sound you just heard was my nodding my head in agreement with you. This particular sin is a non-issue; that’s all I was trying to say. There are so many better things to talk about than the fact that McCain doesn’t have a clue about the Sturgis Zeitgeist. And I submit to you that he did not know what he was doing when he made that poor excuse for a joke. There WAS NO INTENT to sell his wife on the street! We should leave it at that.

    Mr. Thompson’s screed was better left in the bit bucket, IMNSHO.

    Churlpat — a plutarch by any name is still a plutarch

  4. ekaton

    “The poor man has the sense of humor of a pit bull, and absolutely no knowledge of what Sturgis is all about”

    That is the point! He thinks Iraq and Pakistan share a border. He thinks Shiites in Iran support Al Qaeda. He is as ignorant as George Bush who had no clue concerning Arab culture or religion when he invaded Iraq. Shouldn’t he or a campaign aide at least have checked into the whole Sturgis Zeitgeist before making a fool of himself in front of hundreds of thousands? He’s an ignorant old fool, yes, with the “sense of humor of a pit bull”. He has NO respect for women, and he has no common sense. We’ll see many more gaffes by this out of touch old fool before November. But we’ll be told we should make allowances for a aging old man. Well that is not the kind of man (or woman) I want leading the country.

    — Kent Shaw

  5. churlpat

    A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy’s in New York. He tells the saleslady, ‘I would like a Capitol Hill Blues bra for my wife, size 32A.’

    With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, ‘What kind of bra?’

    He repeated, ‘A CHB bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a CHB bra and that you would know what she wanted.’

    ‘Ah, now I remember,’ said the saleslady. “We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Democrat bra, or the Socialist bra, or the Republican bra.”

    Confused and a little flustered, the man asked, ‘So, what are the differences?’

    The saleslady responded, ‘It is all really quite simple. The Democrat bra supports the masses. The Socialist bra lifts up the fallen, and the Republican bra keeps them staunch and upright.’

    The man mused on that information for a moment, then said: ‘I’ll probably regret asking this, but what does the CHB bra do?’

    ‘Ah,’ she replied with a smile, ‘the CHB bra makes mountains out of molehills.’

    And that’s what’s all of you are doing here. The poor man has the sense of humor of a pit bull, and absolutely no knowledge of what Sturgis is all about, and his joke fell painfully flat. But that’s all at was, at least from this lady’s perspective.

    Aside to Mr. Thompson: you said you were not into name calling any more, but you really did call him a pimp. In the big scheme of things, McCain’s sin in this regard was, at worst, venial, at least from this XX point of view.

    Churlpat — a plutarch by any name is still a plutarch

  6. VietnamVet

    You are absolutely right Belle! A lynch gang of GOPers were more than willing to impeach Clinton over oral sex, but seem oblivious to Mr. Bush starting a trumped up war, violating the Constitution, corrupting the justice department, illegal wire taps (makes Nixon look statesman like, huh?) and the list goes on and on. Since Mr. McCain has supported Mr. Bush’s programs 95% of the time, why should we expect him to be different if he gets into the WH?

  7. bryan mcclellan

    If by Rack, you mean kick johnny in the sack, then I heartily concur. The ole one two with the shoe at the Y for every decent female out there, and their daughters.

  8. pattywagn

    Yuck. Creepy old guy wants his wife to be in a biker beauty pagent. I agree this should win him points with the religious right. More importantly, his speech was disjointed and he seemed not to know what to say……..

  9. ChescoRes

    What I said was that I was not going to engage in name calling…and I haven’t.

    Actually Doug, you said a LOT more than that.

    See the quotes in my first comment. No need to quote them again.

    I’m not going to look the other way while candidates make fools of themselves and divert attention away from the real issues that affect this nation.

    But you WILL spend your time writing columns about how the candidates “make fools of themselves”, when you COULD be writing about the “real issues that affect this nation”.

    Don’t you see that you are in fact, allowing the nonsense to distract you?

    If you want pap, try the mainstream media. If you want partisan pap, there are plenty of partisan web sites on the Web that pander to partisanship.

    What I want, what I’ve been wanting for a very long time is what you promised in “Change Starts Here”. That’s why I’m harping on this. I want SOMEONE to raise the level of rhetoric. I want SOMEONE to talk about the “real issues that affect this nation”. If we allow ourselves to be distracted by all the silliness, we are only going to get more of the same crap we’ve had to live with for the last 8 years.

    I realize I’m beating my head against the wall, but you really got my hopes up with that column.

    Sorry for actually believing you.

  10. Belle

    This whole thing gives me a good idea into what Cindy Mcbush is really about, No self respecting woman would stand there grinning like an idiot while her husband offered her body up to a gang of bikers to ogle. And had ANY man called me the C word ,he would be ancient history in my world. Can you imagine the parties in the White House if those two lived there? Bill Clinton insulting HIS wife as he did with Monica starts to look tame.

  11. ekaton

    Well put.

    Now, just a bit off-topic, how about a rant on Obama who is trying to buy votes with the promise of a $1000 tax credit supposedly to compensate for the rising cost of gasoline? Equally sleazy, just in a different but just as blatant way.

    Spread that tax credit out over 150 million taxpayers and it comes to $150 billion dollars. Of course thats another $150B that must be borrowed to make up for loss of tax income to the government and must repaid double by the “beneficiaries” with interest. Another great deal… for somebody…

    McCain and Obama. Where the hell do we GET these guys?

    — Kent Shaw

  12. Hal Brown

    Drill my wife, please.

    There’s a “beauty contest” of sorts held each summer at the Sturgis rally. And it’s just the kind of honor you’d want to see your wife achieve, if you’re the kind of repulsive old misogynist who calls your wife “trollop” and “c–t.”From Wonkette

    This is the only picture the MSM published that even comes close to showing what the rally and contest is all about. Note the blurred picture on the t-shirt (here)

    From Fire Dog Lake:

    “I was looking at the Sturgis schedule and noticed that you have a beauty pageant and so I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said to cheers from the (mostly male) crowd. “With a little luck, she could be on the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”

    Which raises the question: does he know about the Miss Buffalo Chip pageant — or not?

    The “Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant – Bikinis on the Beach” was described by Jim Caple of EPSN as “essentially a topless beauty pageant. And occasionally bottomless, too.”

    I guess nine-houses-a-job-for-his-son-and-a-jet-plane buy you absolutely no respect at all.

    The simulated sex is in the last half of this video.

    The are some good quotes on this Salon article (link) including this from Lynn Harris:

    I am most skeeved out by that awkward snickery, mouth-breathy, Beavis-y two-step he does during the applause. Not to mention that he is clearly reading from notes, which, come on, seriously? Never mind the heh-heh public objectification of his own goddamn wife, how come he, Flyboy McPrepSchool, gets to get away — which he will — with this embarrassing motorcycle enthusiast fist jab I’m So Down With You Biker People farce? There’s also the matter of his party platform; I was not aware that marriage between a man and a Miss Buffalo Chip was a family value.

    From a post on TPM Cafe about McCain evoking sexual imagery:

    Wanting to “drill” is an expression of male power, and McCain says Obama doesn’t want that power, “doesn’t want to drill.” Instead, Obama wants to “inflate your tires.” That mockery intends to evoke an image of a servile, effeminate Obama giving you a blow job.

    Think I sound offensive? This is just the coded language of the old white man who wants to be your president… and can cavalierly joke about his wife baring her breasts at the Buffalo Chip. I’m sick of presidential campaigns based on macho BS. It’s time to elect a President who respects women, and John McCain’s performance at Sturgis yesterday proves he ain’t it.

  13. Doug Thompson

    What I said was that I was not going to engage in name calling…and I haven’t. I didn’t call McCain any names. I simply printed what he said and reported what he did. I’m not the one who used to the lowest form of insult to refer to his wife. He did. I’m not the one who offered her up as a candidate for a topless beauty pageant. He was.

    In the previous column, I documented cases where McCain, in my opinion, proved himself to be racist, bigoted and homophobic.

    I’m not going to look the other way while candidates make fools of themselves and divert attention away from the real issues that affect this nation. I’m just not going to engage in the name calling that others use.

    If you want pap, try the mainstream media. If you want partisan pap, there are plenty of partisan web sites on the Web that pander to partisanship. This site ain’t one of them.

  14. CheckerboardStrangler

    Dear Hell’s Angels:

    There’s something you guys dont seem to understand.

    America looks to you guys for the image of the wild untamed dude who lives by his wits and roams the countryside free as the wind.
    America looks to you as the image of the romantic outlaw.

    But one thing we dont look to you for is who to choose as the leader of the country.
    In fact if someone looks like a good leader to a gang of outlaw bikers it is a pretty safe bet they aren’t a good leader for the rest of us, seeing as how for the last eight years only outlaws in three piece suits have been getting any play.

    So McCain went to your little party and stuck his foot in his mouth. Good, that means we know he is just like you guys.
    PS we don’t ask the Marlboro man for advice on cardio training either so don’t feel bad.

    Jeff H in Occupied TX

  15. CheckerboardStrangler

    The new owner of “ is
    Bob Drogin.
    Bob has generously given us his email address:

    So I wrote him a nice short letter.

    Dear Bob

    Congratulations on getting online.

    Now please let us publicize the site and tell us where to send the Photoshop cartoons that depict McCain’s true “Christian Family Values”.

  16. knockknock

    Doug, this is a great way to start the day. I love the comments (anti- and pro-). Controversy is what sells newspapers, ideas, and objections. Waytago!

    Timr said

    From what I saw in the clip-and I admit I could be wrong-but it looks to me like the “joke” was something from a script. To me it looks like he looked pretty hard at the -music stand?-that had his remarks on it, and just read the joke. What say you? He was extremely incoherent otherwise, but then he had wandered quite a ways from where what he was supposed to say was printed.

    I noticed that as well, and wondered who could possibly have written that stuff. I also wondered why, the day before when Cindy was wearing that red suit, nobody suggested she remove her triple-tier diamond pin from the lapel. Maybe she thought the people who can’t afford to make payments on their pick-up trucks might enjoy seeing how the other half lives.

  17. Helen Rainier

    I read about this and saw the video on KO last night. It is absolutely appalling that any man would show this type of obscene disrespect for his wife in ANY forum whatsoever. Let’s fact it — McCain is a closeted misogynist — remember his comments about Chelsea Clinton looking like a dog, Chelsea being the love child of Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno, beating his wife, calling her a “trollop” and a “c*nt” and now this. His change in position on the issue a woman’s right to make decisions regarding abortion and birth control, and his refusal to even discuss why viagra is covered by insurance but not birth control. I’ve seen this kind of sleazy man before.

    In fact, years ago I was employed by a former county judge who was the stereotypical “family values” Christian republican politician. He continually trumpeted about how he was such a Christian, he was a “law and order” kind of guy and would proceed to say disrespectful things about not only his wife, but his daughter and his son’s girlfriends. One day he even regaled me with an anecdote about one day when he was a judge and on the elevator at the City-County Building in his judge robe. He said there was a woman on the elevator and she grabbed him underneath his robe and fondled him. To make matters worse, he said he enjoyed it because that had never happened to him before.

    Man, was this guy oily and sleazy and McCain reminds me of him. This is certainly a red flag signal that McCain is not mature enough intellectually or mentally to be a player on the world stage.

  18. ChescoRes

    With apologies to Forrest Gump, “Facts is as facts does”.

    Kent, I believe you may have missed my point.

    “Facts”, or the lack thereof, is not the issue here.

    Doug was the one who said he wanted to change the tone, to cool the rhetoric, to be an agent of positive change.

    And all we’ve gotten is the same ol’ name calling.

    True or not, we were promised something more.

    I’m disappointed, but not surprised.

  19. Steve Williams

    I’m no prude about nudity, but this is pretty weird. McCain makes me feel nervous. And Obama makes me feel nervous. Neither of them really seem worth much of anything.


    Don’t tread on me.

  20. nigeldh

    Doug, our lucky day? It turns out that and weren’t taken. wicked grin

    Now who wants to put up a web petition site for McCain?

  21. Timr

    From what I saw in the clip-and I admit I could be wrong-but it looks to me like the “joke” was something from a script. To me it looks like he looked pretty hard at the -music stand?-that had his remarks on it, and just read the joke. What say you? He was extremely incoherent otherwise, but then he had wandered quite a ways from where what he was supposed to say was printed.

  22. ekaton

    Submitted by ChescoRes on August 6, 2008 – 2:03pm.
    “Since then you’ve written three columns . One called the candidates “stupid”, and the other two talk about how John McCain is a “racist, bigot and homophobe”, and how he “pimped out his wife”.”

    With apologies to Forrest Gump, “Facts is as facts does”.

    — Kent Shaw

  23. ekaton

    Keeping tires inflated to the proper pressure saves you 6% on your gasoline bill and your tires will last longer. If you drive 12,000 miles per year you get an additional 720 miles out of the same amount of gasoline and your tires will probably last at least 6% longer. If tires normally wear out at 40,000 miles you’ll get an extra 2400 miles out of a set of tires. These would be significant savings to me. Spread the savings across the entire number of cars in the U.S. and the savings have to run into the tens of billons of dollars yearly.

    So, yes, Johnny Bomb-bomb, please do continue to make an ass of yourself as you chide Obama for his common sense suggestions, which, by the way are backed up by every pertinent “expert” on the subject.

    — Kent Shaw