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Political animals

February 15, 2006 05:22 AM / FUBAR .

By MICHAEL COLLINS

Jimmy Carter fought off a killer bunny. Ronald Reagan was almost flogged by a turkey. And Andrew Jackson's potty-mouthed parrot was barred from his funeral.

Vice President Dick Cheney may be a national laughingstock after shooting a fellow hunter while aiming for a flock of quail. But he's hardly the first politician who has suffered an embarrassing and potentially disastrous run-in with nature's creatures.

History is filled with stories of animals that have caused political humiliation, scandal and even death. Think of Cleopatra's suicide by serpent.

To this day, Carter is still sometimes ridiculed for his confrontation with the infamous swamp rabbit.

The tale began in April 1979 when the president was fishing in Plains, Ga., and spotted the amphibious animal swimming straight for his canoe. Gnashing its teeth and hissing menacingly, the four-legged beast seemed angry and ready to climb into the presidential boat.

The commander-in-chief did what anyone else under attack might do. He picked up a paddle and whacked the demented bunny in self-defense. (Carter later claimed he merely splashed water at the rabbit and shooed it away.)

The story might have ended there if Carter's press secretary, Jody Powell, hadn't innocently shared it with a reporter over a cup of tea. Editorial cartoonists had a field day, and Carter was asked to explain his behavior at town hall meetings and press conferences. The bunny episode became a metaphor for what some saw as Carter's weakness as a leader.

Adding insult to injury, a White House photographer captured the scene on film, and the Reagan administration later made the picture public, giving the hairy tale a visual and a whole new life.

Reagan had a few animal mishaps of his own. He was nearly flogged by a turkey when a photo op went comically awry in 1981. The Gipper was supposed to "pardon" the gobbler, thus saving the bird from the Thanksgiving dinner table. The turkey got nervous, however, and started flapping its wings uncontrollably, startling the president.

A few years later, Reagan was thrown from a horse in Mexico, struck his head and had to be evacuated by helicopter to Arizona for medical treatment. Clearly embarrassed, the macho president asked his handlers to make sure "people know that I was thrown from the horse. I did not fall."

Prince Charles has had his share of embarrassing falls from the saddle. The Prince of Wales broke his shoulder when he fell off a horse during a foxhunt in 2001. Later that year, he took a nasty spill from a polo pony and was knocked unconscious.

Bill Clinton, a man known for feeling others' pain, was probably empathizing with an American bald eagle on July 4, 1996. Clinton released the ailing but rehabilitated bird into the Chesapeake Bay, only to see it get attacked and knocked down by two ospreys. The Coast Guard had to rescue the poor animal as the press corps looked on.

Presidential pets have figured prominently in several administrations, sometimes becoming the butt of jokes or, even worse, causing a national scandal.

Jackson's talking Green Parrot, named Pol, was placed in the president's room after his death and was to remain at his side until burial. But the bilingual bird, which could curse in English and Spanish, spewed obscenities and caused such a fuss that it had to be removed.

Dwight Eisenhower brought along two dogs _ a Weimeraner named Heidi and a Scottie named Spunky _ when he moved into the White House. Heidi's stay at the presidential mansion was short-lived: She soiled a rug in the Diplomatic room and was sent off to the farm.

An indignant Franklin Roosevelt came to the defense of his beloved Scottish terrier, Fala, when rumors started swirling that he'd sent an entire battle fleet to retrieve the pooch from Alaska.

Vice presidential candidate Richard Nixon, accused of benefiting from a secret slush fund, went on television in 1952 and swore that the only political gift he'd ever received was a cocker spaniel named Checkers. Nixon kept the dog, and his famous "Checkers Speech" is credited with saving his political hide.

A decade later, one of Lyndon Johnson's pet beagles nearly destroyed his career. Johnson grabbed the animal by the ears and lifted it up on its hind legs while photographers recorded the scene. Animal lovers were outraged, and Johnson's popularity plummeted.

Even political spouses have been unwittingly caught off guard by the animal kingdom.

Former First Lady Barbara Bush once came face to face with an unexpected guest _ a giant rat _ during a swim in the White House pool.

"It went by right in front of me," she later recalled. "I mean, it was enormous. Fortunately, George Bush was there and drowned the beast. It was horrible."

From then on, the first lady asked the White House guards to check the pool for wayward rodents before she waded in.

(Contact Michael Collins at CollinsM(at)shns.com)


© Copyright 2006 by Capitol Hill Blue

Comments

Should have saved the rat, and drowned Bush.

Posted by JD at February 15, 2006 09:00 AM

and this related to almost killing a man, how?

Posted by lezlie at February 15, 2006 12:11 PM

The quails come in coveys not flocks.

Posted by George Ballard at February 15, 2006 12:27 PM

Odds are, though, that these were not wild quail. Didn't someone report that these were domestic birds bred for target practice by the jaded rich for whom clay pigeons have lost their appeal.

Wild eagles and giant DC rats at least have a sporting chance of evading the consequences of an encounter with a politician. These quail were probably fenced in besides.

Quelle honneur!

Posted by M. Williams at February 15, 2006 12:37 PM

While this article is mildly entertaining, what is it's significance in light of intrepid Dicky's faux pas. He shot a man, while hunting illegally from a vehicle, possibly drunk, and in complete violation of any and all standards of safe hunting practices.

The man is an ASS and should step down from the office of VP and take everyone else, including Monkey Boy, with him!

Posted by at February 15, 2006 01:23 PM

THE HUNTER, by Ogden Nash

The hunter crouches in his blind
'neath camouflage of every kind
and conjures up a quacking noise
to lend allure to his decoys.

This grown-up man, with luck and pluck,
is hoping to out-wit: A DUCK!!

Posted by ernest shrenzel at February 15, 2006 02:17 PM

Now, if Cheney took Bush hunting and shot him, would they have to investigate a criminal charge against Cheney, or would they make him president?

Posted by Lickspittle at February 15, 2006 07:48 PM

Good question Lickspittle. A question within a question, before answering your question, . . . Has President Bush lived or died? If he has lived, is he able to tend to business? If he has died, we would hope an investigation would be acted upon before giving consideration to V.P. Cheney taking role as prez. But as the voice of truth speaks, . . . in today's humanistic rituals, Cheney would become prez and then consideration for an investigation will be given, for then Cheney can be in charge of the details. And we all know how that will turn out, don't we? Ha-Ha, another investigation will bite into the dust, leaving track marks of secretcy!

Posted by at February 16, 2006 03:35 PM

The twist to this forum is a sad example of how people say what they want whether it has bearing on the subject or not.

Dave

Posted by Dave at February 16, 2006 05:55 PM

To Dave, such as you did yourself!

Posted by at February 16, 2006 06:48 PM

WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR CHENEY TO REPORT HIS SHOOTING OF WHITTINGTON? PERHAPS CHENEY NEEDED TO GET "A STORY" TOGETHER.

But yet, Cheney still contradicts himself. He first tells Britt Hume on Faux 5 that he knew Whittington for about 30 years and he is a "good friend." Then when Britt Hume's gives question to Cheney, is Whittington a close friend, or friendly acquaintance, Cheney answers, "No, an acquaintance." DA! Which way is the wind flying this bird turd today?

In answer to Britt Hume's question, . . . "Mr. Vice President, how is Mr. Whittington?" "Well, the good news is he's doing very well today. I talked to him yesterday after they discovered the heart problem, but it appears now to have been pretty well resolved and the reporting today is very good."

Cheney stated this comment on 2/15/06, when doctors already released information to the public stating there is a pellet yet remaining in Whittington's heart that they are not removing. We question, . . . Does this sound as though the heart problem has been "pretty well resolved," as V.P. Cheney describes it?

Britt Hume questioned Cheney, . . . "What was he wearing?" "He was dressed in orange, he was dressed properly, but he was also . . . There was a little bit of a gully there, so he was down a little ways before land level, although I could see the upper part of his body when . . . I didn't see it at the time I shot, until after I'd fired. And the sun was directly behind him — that affected the vision, too, I'm sure."

We question, . . . When someone gets shot, don't they usually in an immediate formation, fall or tip? If so, how could Cheney clearly see Whittington "after shooting him, but not before shooting him?" If the sun affected Cheney's shooting, then why did Cheney shoot? An experienced hunter of any nature would first look to get a clear shot of the target before pulling the trigger. NONE of Cheney's explanation derives to make any sense. And why is Cheney giving his description of the shooting to Britt Hume and not to the detectives who should be investigating all witnesses and the true events of the shooting?

"But he was also" what V.P. Cheney? Oh don't bother answering. The truth won't be given anyway.

In regards to the remaining interview between Britt Hume and V.P. Dick Cheney, we'll leave the reading to the Bush administration. They enjoy fairytales.

Posted by at February 16, 2006 08:57 PM

FOR THE LOVE OF MY COUNTRY I DEMANd A REVOLT AGAINST SUCH CAESARISM AS THIS!

Posted by at February 16, 2006 09:25 PM

FOR THE LOVE AND SAKE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, PRUNE THE DEAD VINES!

Posted by at February 17, 2006 06:22 PM

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